Chick: Oh, yeah, you were gonna call your mom.
Dude: I was?
Chick: Yeah — about your sister.
Dude: Oh, yeah. What did you want me to ask her?
–Union Square
Overheard by: The Antithesis
Chick: Oh, yeah, you were gonna call your mom.
Dude: I was?
Chick: Yeah — about your sister.
Dude: Oh, yeah. What did you want me to ask her?
–Union Square
Overheard by: The Antithesis
Crackhead to French girls: This side of the station is for crackheads only. You are in violation of code 113, this area is reserved for crackheads only. So move now.
–110th St Train Station
Film man: Gimme five minutes and I’ll give you my left nut.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: S&J
Suit on cell: You hooked up with a 300-pound girl?
–14th & 3rd Ave
Mexican guy: You look like 50 Cent. But in Mexico, your name would be 50 Pesos.
–Caliente Cab Restaurant , 488 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Mon
Thug: My wife hit me up for fitty bucks, and then my girl hit me up for another fitty bucks, and now I’m all tapped out.
–7 Train
Overheard by: Juliet
Conductor: Come on people! You were born with two eyes. If you would just use them to see that there are three different doors to the train, you would know that you’re holding people up trying to go home! Use your eyes and head and go in another door that people aren’t trying to get out of…Use the head people…Use the head!
–1 Train
Overheard by: megan
Econ major: So is that quadrillion as in past trillion?
–Classroom, NYU
Uniformed school girl: Aunt Diane, Jennifer is waiting for you to come get her.
Aunt Diane: I’m coming here now to give her this fucking money so she can go to the party.
Uniformed school girl: Really?! Can I go to the party?!
Aunt Diane: Shiiit, go back to the apartment and party with your-fucking-self. Why do you have a hole in your fucking stockings?
–Outside a school
Overheard by: Carl
Guy on cell: Well, right now my brother and my girlfriend share a bedroom.
–Washington Square North
Overheard by: Daniel
Young nanny to six-year-old girl, crossing the street: What do you care about more, your brother or your scooter?
–76th St & Central Park West
Overheard by: Sonny
Daughter to obnoxious mom: Just because you are a member of my family doesn't mean I won't backhand you.
–NYU Coles Sports Center
Overheard by: Maria
Man to woman, while crossing street: Look, all I'm saying is there are a lot of men who like your sister even more then they like you–and that's saying a lot!
–6th Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: Wemily
Girl: We can't become gay just to fit in at this school!
–NYU
Passer-by: I pay $40k a year for school, and that makes me better than you.
–NYU, Tisch
Overheard by: Dan Lurie
NYU girl at party: My parents are actually really into civil liberties.
–NYU Dorm
NYU chick to friend: I love coke! (passing white lady gives her a strange look) I meant the drink, not the drug, lady! Jeez, I'm a minority student at fucking NYU! You think I can afford a coke habit??
–8th & University
Overheard by: Melissa Perez
Gay NYU student, rolling around on the ground in student lounge: I am obsessed with the ground. I mean, who's going to judge me? There's like six million Asians here and none of them are gay.
–Tisch Hall, NYU
Mother, pushing crying two-year-old in stroller: They're never going to accept you here if you keep screaming!
–NYU Admissions
Overheard by: Sam
Tourist grandpa: I’m going to sit here. Do you want a snack?
Tourist grandson: Sure.
Tourist grandpa: Here’s some money. Go over there and buy yourself something. And if you can find somebody nice, ask where we can get some cheesecake.
–Greeley Square
Overheard by: Nick Turner
Hasidic boy: Poppola, I heard a rumor that when a cow gets a cut from the milking machine, and blood gets in the milk…they have to turn it into chocolate milk, so people won’t know it’s there.
Hasidic grandpa: We should be so lucky!
–4 train
Overheard by: Raden Mutter
Guy to male friend: We believe that the better you look, the more spiritual you are.
–1st St & 5th Ave., Brooklyn
Overheard by: PrairieSquid
Man collecting money for the homeless: Come on guys, I’m way too pretty to be homeless.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Dara
Middle-aged African American male, with a blue NY Giants baseball cap on, and a fur coat: I’m pretty… I’m pretty… I’m pretty
–59th St Subway Station
Overheard by: nickporjr
Bum: Hey pretty! Hey pretty!
[Pretty girl coughs violently and sneezes at the same time.]Bum: Feel better, pretty.
–6th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Middle-aged, Chelsea-fit white guy on iPhone: Well, neither you nor any of your sisters were the beauty that I was…
–21st St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Sean
Middle-aged man: You know who was good-looking? Stalin, when he was younger. He was so dashing!
–104th & West End
Overheard by: communist!
Drunk girl: I just love a cock in my mouth! It is a fact of my life, like Blair and Tootie. I want to be carnivorous. I will eat fish if it's the only thing on the menu, but I really just want some meat! I'm not fishiverous!
–Party, Ditmars Boulevard, Astoria
Overheard by: likes steak AND seafood
Girl to friend: Surely if she was ever in possession of a penis, then on merit she would inherit the family lobster farm?
–28th & 7th
Ginger: Garibaldi… That is so weird. That is the name of the California state fish. I wonder if the statue is named after the fish.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: camillo cavour
Man to wife: That's too much calamari, even for a homeless guy.
–East Village
Girl on cell: You keep talking over me–it makes me want to punch you in the uterus.
–Ray's Pizza, 52 & 8th
Overheard by: Jarett
Guy to friend: You keep referring to me as "that guy" and we'll see how long you stay conscious.
–33rd & 7th
Nervous man seated against the wall: I don't like this seat. I don't like sitting here. I like to sit on the aisle. What if there's a fight? I don't want to be trapped in a place with a fight.
–Off-Broadway Theatre
Overheard by: Hannah
Ghetto chick: Can't you get somebody else to fuck him up? Why you gotta do it?
–W Train
Overheard by: sara n.
Man: He was trying to turn his alcoholism into a positive thing instead of attacking the guy who raped his sister.
–The Strand Bookstore
Overheard by: Slightly confused, yet intrigued…
Girl on cell: Remember that time you got into a fight with an inch worm?
–Chambers St
Overheard by: Shooty
Kid to friend: Is your dad in town? I need Ambien CR.
–Saatchi & Saatchi, Hudson St
Overheard by: dlr
Guy on cell: No, they never came. [Pause.] I just never got them! [Pause.] I told you you can’t just send random pills through the mail!
–Strawberry Fields, Central Park
Strung out middle-aged lesbian: How long does that detox stuff take to work? I need to be clean of the Xanax by my doctor’s appointment next week. He knows I’m on meth, but he can’t find out I’m on Xanax.
–E Train
Worried suit: …But I can’t be on Zoloft, so I don’t know what to do.
–E 14th St
Patient to friend: He asked for an Ensure. He got an Ambien instead.
–NYS Psychiatric Institute
Overheard by: nonrandomerror
Suit: Her meds worked better this audition season -you could tell.
–Oriental Garden
