History professor, lecturing on the early 1900s: I mean, the problem of being the only person with a telephone is, well, who you gonna call?
Class, as one: Ghostbusters!
History professor: You kids scare me.

Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: They know their history, alright

Teen girl to friend: She doesn't even know what she wants! She just likes to text Scott because it makes her feel pretty.

Forever 21
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania

Birthday girl: Not to be mean, but I'm kind of glad Jeff* can't come to my birthday party. Now I can invite Kelly*.
Friend: Why couldn't you before? Not enough seats?
Birthday girl (long pause): No. Because Jeff's brother got her sister pregnant.
Friend: Oh, yeah.

University of Notre Dame
Notre Dame, Indiana

Overheard by: iz

20-something girl on phone: Wait, he gave you a bite of his burrito and you're questioning his feelings for you? (pause) Girl, he practically proposed right there!

University of Missouri

Overheard by: Black Bean

Female suit #1: She's just sad and lonely.
Female suit #2: That's no excuse for Mormonism.

Santa Barbara, California

Guy: My mom hit my dad with a frying pan. He doesn't have a cheek anymore. It's been entirely restructured. She used to beat the shit out of him! It was so funny. But when he drunk–that's when she'd get a beating.
Girl, sympathetically: Your family…
Guy: Oh, I love my family! I don't know what I'd do without them!

Neptune City, New Jersey

Serious Asian dude: I don't like angry soul food bitches. I like happy soul food bitches.


Overheard by: Neither nor

Dude on cell: Hey, all I know is lonely men love chicken…

Illinois Wesleyan University

Overheard by: martha

Girlfriend on packed, stopped train: I'm bored. Tell me a story.
Boyfriend: I remember the first time I saw you…you were crying…sitting outside the abortion clinic. I gave you my hankie.

Yellow Train
Washington, DC

Overheard by: entertained next to them

Punk girl: So we started fucking on a regular basis, right? And then I realized that I may actually like the guy!

University Campus
Austin, Texas