Laugh Factory promoter: You like comedy?
Girl: No [walks away].
Laugh Factory promoter: Please talk to me. I hate my job.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Julissa
Laugh Factory promoter: You like comedy?
Girl: No [walks away].
Laugh Factory promoter: Please talk to me. I hate my job.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Julissa
Donation guy: You love animals, don’t you? [Shoves binder in woman’s face.]Tough guy, to girlfriend: I’ll knock him out if he comes at me like that.
Donation guy: You love animals, don’t you? [Shoves binder in tough guy’s face.]Tough guy: No, thank you, sir.
Girlfriend: You didn’t knock him out.
Tough guy: Yeah, I’m a pussy.
–14th & 5th, Park Slope
Overheard by: I Would Have Punched Him
Comedy club guy: Yay, comedy! Yay, booze! Girl, don’t you walk away from me. I will follow you all over New York if I have to. Now take a flyer.
–Times Square
Overheard by: GregumsdaGreggy
Hawker: Yes, I am an angel of the Lord… AM New York! AM New York, here!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Fourth Axiom
Flyer guy: Free Mets schedules! Get your free Mets schedule! Spring is here! Mets are here! Wish I wasn’t.
–Union Square
Overheard by: you and me both, buddy
Street hawker: Take it — slit your wrists with it, roll your drugs in it — I don’t care. Just take it.
–43rd & 7th
Comedy promoter: Colorful paper! Free colorful paper! Use it to wipe your ass!
–Times Square
Vendor: Daily News! One for 25 cents, three for a dollar!
–33rd & 7th
Overheard by: Sara Gabriela
Metro paper guy: Ladies and gentlemen, if you miss this bus it will be a seven to ten-minute wait… Get your free Metro paper here! Awww, no one even gives a shit about what I’m sayin’.
–23rd & Park
Overheard by: much-too-much
Comedy club promoter: Hey, ladies! Next show starting in a few minutes — drink specials…
Girl: We’re not in the mood to laugh.
Comedy club promoter: We’re not that funny!
–W 3rd St, between 6th Ave & MacDougall
Club promoter: Comedy tonight at the Improv!
Middle-aged woman: The real comedy is on the streets.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Kevin Motel
Young woman: Hey, would you like to sign up and register to vote?
Man: No, thanks. I’m an illegal alien.
–Grand Concourse, the Bronx
Overheard by: BobbyD
Guy soliciting money: Just one penny. Just one penny to help the homeless.
Contributor: Where’s Eddie?
Guy soliciting money: Eddie? Oh, he’s on vacation this week.
–Outside Barnes and Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Bob who gives at the office
Clipboard harasser: Hey there!
Guy, noting sticker on clipboard: ‘Mean people suck,’ huh?
Clipboard harasser: Would you like to talk about Greenpeace?
Guy: Sorry. I only care about money.
–48th St & 6th Ave
Guy: Hey, come and see this comedy show for free! You can get drunk.
Tourist girl: We’re not over twenty-one.
Guy: Man, this is New York! We don’t card! Fuck the government!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Andi
Greenpeace guy: Do you have a second for Greenpeace?
Woman: Meow.
–3rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: JJ
