Tourist to comedy show hawker: Knock-knock.
Comedy show hawker: Um… Who’s there?
Tourist: I hate comedy. [He walks away.]
–Times Square
Tourist to comedy show hawker: Knock-knock.
Comedy show hawker: Um… Who’s there?
Tourist: I hate comedy. [He walks away.]
–Times Square
Conductor: Are you going to work? Are you going somewhere? Let us know by getting out of train doors.
–R train, Lexington Ave stop
Bartender swinging nipple tassels: Can you believe they wouldn’t let me do this at my old job?!
–Bar, Broadway, between 76th & 77th
Overheard by: Lezbotron
IT guy: I can break whatever I want, because I fix it!
–Office, 45th & 3rd
Overheard by: beans
I-banker to two others: He got the bonus for people that don’t get bonuses.
–Metro-North
Comedy club flyer guy: I hate my job, and it’s all your fault!
–Times Square
30-something hippie at show: 2008 is the year that I get a job.
–New Year’s Eve concert
Overheard by: Smash
Man selling newspapers: Get your newspapers here and I’ll buy you a drink! … Don’t listen to me — I’m here to sell you newspapers.
–32nd & 6th
CD hawker: You lookin’ for the bus to Mars? It comes in right over here! [Minutes later.] C’mon, white people! Spend money! Hey, white people! I’m black people!
–8th & Broadway
Flyer lady to line of people: You guys need to read this — it’s important. It’s about the waterboarding issue and the new attorney general. Please read these — all about the new attorney general. What’s his name? Makaskey? Or… Something… This is really important.
–Washington Square South
Overheard by: jen
Pamphlet guy: Hey, man, you want to save the kids? No, you don’t. Just keep walking — who cares?
–Union Square
Hawker: I’ll trade anyone their Starbucks coffee for a Zipcar flyer!
–Spring St station
Overheard by: Lalaith
Flyer lady: Hey, girl — you betta stop. Buy a leather jacket! Make you look so sexy and hot. Make your man wanna hit that spot!
–Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: I don’t need a jacket for that, BiTCheSSSSS
Flyer girl: Take this flyer. Buy a sweater for your pretty wife — get hot sex tonight!
–34th St
Headache medicine flyer girl: Sir, do you have a headache?
Suit: Not yet.
–Hoboken PATH station
Overheard by: Bo
Paper guy: AM News! AM News! Low prices! Low-tech news!
–Greeley Square, 32nd St
Overheard by: Mary Beth Hanlon
Thug handing out flyers: You don’t have to take one, it’s okay, because at the end of the day I’ll still be crisp.
–Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: Alex Berkowitz
Umbrella vendor, after it starts raining: It’s not too late… Save her hairdo!
–W. 47th St. & Broadway
Overheard by: Maggie
Flyer guy: Oh, man, I can’t do this — this job ain’t for me. I can’t take all the rejection!
–Clinton & Delancey
Guy selling umbrellas: I believe in all of you! I have umbrellas for you!
–33rd & 7th
Overheard by: smoon
Black guy with clipboard: Anyone? A minute of your time to save the children! Anyone! ‘Scuse me, pretty miss! Excuse me! [Pretty girl ignores him.] Oooh! I’m too flyyy fo’ da children. I’m too hot fo’ da children. [To old lady] Ma’am, do you wanna save the children?
Old lady: I hate children.
–69th & Columbus
Overheard by: Joey
Black comedy show peddler: Do you like comedy?
White teen girl: No, thanks. I’m not interested.
Black comedy show peddler: Well, that’s ’cause you’re afraid of black people!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: Caitlin
D.A.R.E. volunteer: Sir, before you leave, would you please–
Rushing guy, interrupting: –Do I look like I just say no to drugs?
D.A.R.E. volunteer: We don’t pre-judge people.
–Outside Marshalls, Atlantic Center, Brooklyn
Overheard by: DARE to say yes
Newspaper guy: Read all about it: girl passing me right now has holes in her jeans.
Girl with holy jeans: They’re made like that, asshole.
–Port Authority
Street vendor selling children’s bubble maker: Bubbles! Bubbles! Shit… Bubbles! Fuck!
–Midtown
Subway hawker with huge sign: Subway! Eat fresh! [Hot girl walks by] Hey, baby, you lookin’ good! Don’t you just walk away like that… You need to shave your legs, girl. Subway! Eat fresh!
–39th & 8th
Guy handing out free CDs: Hey, baby, you like hip hop? [Girl ignores him.] Whatever. You lookin’ like Launchpad.
–Outside Virgin Megastore
Vendor: Get your peanuts! Get the first bag for five dollars and the second for the same price!
–Yankee Stadium
Dude selling programs for Avenue Q: Buy a program! If you don’t, I’ll tell you how it went. I’ll ruin the whole thing. Buy a program and a CD! If he doesn’t buy it, he doesn’t really love you. This is your last chance… until later.
–Golden Theater
Overheard by: Gaby Young
Guy handing out Atkins snack bars: Get your free Atkins bar! The more you take, the sooner I go home.
–Outside NYSE
