Dude: On the full moon he’s going to sprout Lee Press On nails!
Chick: I can’t believe he got bit by a tranny…
–Union Square
Dude: On the full moon he’s going to sprout Lee Press On nails!
Chick: I can’t believe he got bit by a tranny…
–Union Square
Guy #1: I don’t know… Which bag should I get?
Girl employee: Well, you should get a laptop cover and a padded bag.
Guy #2: Excuse me, that’s not necessary.
Girl employee: Well, that way it keeps your computer safer.
Guy #2: But it would be like wearing two condoms at the same time.
Girl employee: True.
Guy #1: Thanks. To both of you. I have a lot to think about.
–Apple Store, Soho
Guy #1: … And then she tried to shank me in the back, and that’s when I had to slap a ho.
Guy #2: Damn, I feel some percolatin’ goin’ on.
–Tribeca
15-year-old girl #1 tapping cigarette box: I totally think that these make me look classy. A person with a box of cigarettes just looks classy.
15-year-old girl #2, giggling: Yeah, I don’t know what he’s talking about. Cigarettes look way better in a mouth than a penis.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Stereotype or caricature
Chick: Whoa, you were married?
Guy: Yup. Six years.
Chick: What happened?
Guy: Ummm… We were too different.
Chick: Different how?
Guy: Well, I’m the kind of person who wanted to pay off all his med school bills and live abroad for a few years. She’s the kind of person who wanted to fuck other guys.
Chick: [Shocked.]Guy: Hey, you asked.
–F train, York St
Chick #1: Dude, he’s totally got that Napoleon complex.
Chick #2: Nah, man, he’s just an asshole that happens to be short.
–F train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kryssy K.
Guy #1, about babe passerby: Oooh, hey girl. Excuse me, miss? Miss! [Girl turns around.] Hello. How are you today? [Girl leaves.] Man, not even a hello! What the hell is wrong with women today?
Guy #2: I can’t believe you thought she’d actually talk to you.
Guy #1: Why? I’m good looking.
Guy #2: Dude, you’re wearing Tevas. Shut the fuck up.
–69th & Columbus
Chick: I have social anxiety.
Dude: Social anxiety? You played Jenga with my neighbors!
–Christy & Delancey
Overheard by: Tourist
Chick #1: So he just threw his shoes out?!
Chick #2: Yeah, he said he would never dance again.
Hobo: Never dance again!
–St. Mark’s & 2nd Ave
Girl #1: Thanks, I like being wished on. Well, not wished on, but wished for.
Girl #2: I was wished on in Mexico…
Girl #1, after long pause: Was it the same guy that gave you herpes?
–N train
Overheard by: i thought it was funny….
