Chelsea boy: … And then he turned to me and said, ‘I like her because she fucks me like a man.’
Chick: That’s just not something you want to hear from your father.
–Delancey & Essex
Overheard by: les chinatown
Chelsea boy: … And then he turned to me and said, ‘I like her because she fucks me like a man.’
Chick: That’s just not something you want to hear from your father.
–Delancey & Essex
Overheard by: les chinatown
Dude #1: If I had money I’d eat there everyday.
Dude #2: If you had money I’d kill you and wear you like a pelt.
–Outside Walter Kerr Theater
Chick: Yo, people pee in this place. I don’t know why.
Friend: What?
Chick: I got a bionic nose. I can smell pee from three days ago.
–ACE, 14th & 8th
Overheard by: blistexaddict
Girl: You have to try this pasta I bought. It’s the best dry pasta you’ve ever tasted.
Boy: Best? I’ll try it, but I should warn you — I’m Italian.
Girl: Ugh, Italian people are always saying that!
–Elevator, NYU, Water St
Overheard by: Abram
Guy: These shoes are so comfortable I can walk in them!
Girl: That could quite possibly be the dumbest shit you have ever said.
–Neptune Ave & Ocean Pkwy
Overheard by: i am that guy
Girl #1: When I get rich I’m going to spend all of my money on art.
Girl #2: Me, too.
Girl #1: And wine. But really cheap wine, so I have more money to spend on art.
Girl #2: Well, it’s not like you drink anything but wine from a box now. You’ll be fine.
–Galeria Ramis Barquet, Chelsea
Roommate #1: Were you dreaming about Jason last night? You were moaning so loud it woke me up.
Roommate #2: Oh my god, I was? Have I ever done that before?
Roommate #1: All the time. Every once in a while I think about kicking you or something to see if you cum.
–NYU
Five-year-old boy: Let’s play Spin the Bottle!
Friend with water bottle: Yeah!
–228 E 23rd St
Friend #1: Health insurance, workman’s comp, and bacon — you can’t get much better than that.
Friend #2: I know.
–Elevator, Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Chick: Oh my god, Ali. You totally motorboated me at the bar last night!
Ali: And then you showed your tits to everyone, you whore.
Chick: Yeah, but I got a free shot.
Ali: And I do enjoy seeing your tits…
Ali’s boyfriend: Is it weird that you like her tits more than me?
–Metro North out of Fordham
