Chick: Oh my god. I had, like, so many guys hit on me last night.
Queer: Puh-leeze, you know they only talk to you because you look like a total prostitute.
–A train
Chick: Oh my god. I had, like, so many guys hit on me last night.
Queer: Puh-leeze, you know they only talk to you because you look like a total prostitute.
–A train
Girl: I need like an extra stomach outside my body that I can just dump out when it gets full so I don’t actually absorb all the calories.
Guy: They have that, honey. It’s called “bulimia”.
Girl: …Oh, like you haven’t considered it!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Rachel
Man: Table for two, non-smoking.
–Brooklyn Diner, W. 57th Street
Yuppie guy: See, it’s hard, because I see both sides of the argument, but I still don’t know who would win in a fight.
–Madison Square Park
Girl on phone: I didn’t like it when I was there…No, it was awful!…You’re taking him? So where’re you going?…An interview? How do you interview for a preschool? He’s 2.
–Office, 37th & Broadway
Guy: Wait. You lived 20 minutes from the Amish all the time…like they were there all the time?
Girl: Yeah. What do you mean?
Guy: I dunno. I thought they were out following the buffalo or something.
–Washington Square Diner, W. 4th Street
Puerto Rico chick: He likes that–what do you call it? That the black people make…that “tooka tooka tooka”…?
Nuyorican chick: Rap music.
–South Bronx
Overheard by: emilie
Guy: Original flavored yogurt tastes terrible.
Girl #1: You should have seen the faces he was making.
Girl #2: Why? Does it taste like semen?
Guy: I wouldn’t know, would you?
Girl #2: I don’t know; I’ve never tasted plain yogurt before!
–Chelsea Market, 9th Avenue
Girl #1: ‘Twas never a merry world since of two–
Girl #2: Oh, fuck! Start over. I forgot the vibrator.
–Broadway Residence Hall, Columbia University
Girl #1: Holy shit! It’s a mime.
Girl #2: Shit. He ain’t a mime. He’s just gay.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Ricky Chawla
Girl #1: Man, none of them are fine or anything, but you see them bodies on ’em?
Girl #2: Yeah, I bet those motherfuckers can fuck.
–Union Square
Girl, 7: I wish I could go in and play with them. I want to play with the turtles.
Zookeeper woman: They’re not turtles. They’re tortoises.
Girl, 7: Whatever. I want to step on them.
–Central Park Zoo
