Girl #1: I don’t feel well.
Girl #2: You look fine.
Girl #1: I think I have malaria.
Girl #2: I really don’t think you do.
Girl #1: Do people get malaria in Nicaragua?
Girl #2: I don’t know, I don’t care, and furthermore, we were in Brazil.
–JFK
Guy #1: Isn’t that festival around here somewhere?
Guy #2: Yeah, it’s down that way. What do they call it?
Guy #1: Cinco DiMaggio.
–Mott & Spring
Overheard by: Cryptonomic B
Guy: They’re George Strait jeans.
Girl: I love George Strait. He’s a hottie.
Guy: He only gives his name to the best.
Girl: Didn’t he give his name to that tractor place?
Guy: It must have been the best tractor.
–NYU Law commons area, W. 3rd St.
Overheard by: Micah Prude
Girl: This can’t be good. It says ‘Phenylketonurics: Contains phenylalanine.’
Guy #1: Isn’t that a vegetable?
Guy #2: No, it’s okay. It’s Italian.
–3 train
Overheard by: Jessica
Dude on cell: I was up until 5AM having a really pointless discussion about apathy.
–21st & 2nd
Tourist #1: Ha! Look at her, she’s trying to look just like Bernadette Peters.
Tourist #2: That is Bernadette Peters and she heard you. Can we go now?
–51st & 5th
Overheard by: A tourist who’s not clueless.
Office woman: So, what is Matt up to these days?
Delivery man: He just got a job as a fudge packer.
Office woman: Oh, that sounds exciting! Tell him I said hello!
–23rd & Park
Guy #1: They put lead in ice cream so it makes you retarded.
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: Yeah, they put all sorts of chemicals in food; genocide, pesticide…
–A train
Chick #1: You know Gandhi? The Indian guy with the bald head and the robes?
Chick #2: Oh, yeah — he starred in that film.
–Parson’s School of Design
Camp leader: Okay, everyone. I think we should all meet at five behind the naked cowboy.
New Yorker camper: John, the naked cowboy is a man.
–LIRR
