Woman #1: Oh my God, it looks just like a peach without the fur!
Woman #2: That’s called a nectarine.
–Whole Foods, 7th Ave
Overheard by: Peter Brown
Woman #1: Oh my God, it looks just like a peach without the fur!
Woman #2: That’s called a nectarine.
–Whole Foods, 7th Ave
Overheard by: Peter Brown
Guy #1: Yeah, I was reading this Jehovah’s Witness pamphlet this morning, and apparently they believe that only 144,000 people will get into heaven. The rest don’t go to hell; they’re just unconscious.
Guy #2: That doesn’t sound so good. You gotta think, out of the 144,000 least sinful people on Earth, most of ’em are going to be ugly. I’d rather be unconscious with the hot chicks.
–Broad St
Overheard by: anotherKnight
Brooklyn guy: All I’m sayin’ is it goes without sayin’.
–Brooklyn bound D train
Overheard by: Robert Barry Francos
Hoochie on cell: I don’t want that. I’m looking for sauce. Sauce sauce sauce sauce sauce! S-A-U-S-C-E. Sauce!
–Waldbaum’s, Whitestone, Queens
Overheard by: Liz the Overheardista
Teen girl: Do you think Christmas will ever be on Friday the 13th?
–Times Square
Woman in elevator: She said 13…Where’s 13? What the… fuck? There’s no 13. Should I press 12? Or 14? What?…She said 13. Well I’ll just press both.
–22nd & Broadway
Overheard by: staring at the button for 13
Elderly woman, regarding painting: Would you look at the detail he put into this. It almost looks two dimensional.
–The Met
Overheard by: s.gothman
Tween boy: Did the dinosaurs come before or after Bible times?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Omg! He did not just ask that!
Chick #1: Do you have a safety pin?
Chick #2: What’s a safety pin?
Chick #1: Are you serious?
Chick #2: Yeah, I mean, what’s the difference between a safety pin and a paper clip? I know they both hold shit together, but, like, what’s the difference?
–23rd & 1st
Overheard by: Carly
9-year-old girl: Mommy, please can we leave? This doesn’t even make any sense! It’s stupid.
Mommy: Sweetie, it’s not supposed to make sense. It’s senseless art. They’re making fun of real art.
–Dada exhibit, MoMA
Girl #1: Does Katie’s brother say, “You wanna puke in my ass”?
Girl #2: I think he says, “house.”
Girl #1: Ooh. Oh my God, that makes so much more sense.
Girl #1 to girl #3: We are such idiots.
–Whitestone, Queens
Overheard by: Michelle
Guy #1: I hear if you pee on that third rail thing it will kill you.
Guy #2: Really? Let’s give it a shot!
Guy #2 pees over the side, hitting the third rail.
Guy #2: Fuckin’ bullshit, man! That shit doesn’t even work!
–B platform, 34th St
Some Con Ed workers are standing around a manhole, peeking in and looking confused.
Con Ed worker: Just put some tape on it!
–43rd St & 30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Jennifer Cuatt
Girl #1: Yeah, there’s fucking nothing worse than seeing your parents have sex.
Girl #2: Your grandparents having sex, dude.
Girl #1: Or, like, two really, really fat people.
–R train
Little girl, pointing to an ad depicting peanut butter and banana on
bread: What is that?
Mother, looking at the ad for a moment: It’s sushi.
Little girl: What’s sushi?
Mother: It’s Chinese food…You wouldn’t like it.
–Downtown B train
Headline by: Maniac Moll
Runners-Up:
· “愚かなアメリカ人” – Oog Oog
· “1 Billion Americans Couldn’t be Wrong” – Moze
· “50,000 Elvis Fans Discover They Like Raw Fish” – ED
· “And Why Don’t We Like Chinese Food? That’s Right, ‘Cause They Bombed Pearl Harbour” – Brendan
· “Choosey Moms Choose Eel and Avocodo” – PJ
· “Don’t Tell Me What I Like, You Chink Bitch” – Bevan
· “If You Eat the Wrong Part, You Become a Gorilla” – devin the artist
· “It’s Only Chinese if the Banana Is Small” – Oren K
· “Mommy, it Looks so Much Like Daddy’s Cock Coming Out of Your Asshole.” – Extra Character
· “New Study Finds Confusion Prevents Childhood Obesity” – Booters
· “Technically, Honey, It’s Sashimi” – ED
