Wednesday One-Liners Can’t Decide Which Coldplay Lyric to Put in Their Profiles

Teen girl: Wow! I just realized I haven’t been online all day!

–34th & 6th

Overheard by: Different Generation

Middle-aged woman: 50% of the population is allergic to wheat. They just don’t know it. It’s true– I read it on the internet.

–Port Authority

Guy: You should start a fight with her on MySpace.

–75th & Amsterdam

Guy: I’m pretty sure my cat has Down’s syndrome…You can read about it on my MySpace blog.

–Spice, Chelsea

Overheard by: DJR

Thug: MySpace is like crack, yo. I’m addicted to that shit.

–F train

Overheard by: Laurence Lau

Girl: Google is, like, totally taking over the world!

–Terminal 4, JFK

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Girl on cell: We need, like, a slutty web-designer friend we can bring in on this.

–Harlem

Overheard by: Buttons

Scruffy dude: I should just bring her a bunch of photos of my ex-girlfriend and slam them down and be like, “Find one, just one of these, that you’re hotter than.” I can’t believe she wouldn’t give me her e-mail address. She must be out of her mind. I mean, just give me a fake one. Like, something at hotmail.com. Anything!

–54th & 10th

Overheard by: Waiting for The Colbert Report

Guy wearing t-shirt that says “You are so off my buddy list”: So I am thinking about creating another website that’s Jedi-friendly.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Palmala Handerson

Posted on August 9, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Google, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Internet, JFK Airport, Music, Penn Station, Port Authority, Stupidity, Teens, Thugs

Wednesday One-Liners Own Eight-Sided Dice

Loud, nerdy guy: They’re basically a bunch of shitty MySpace kids with mutant powers. Like the hedgehog kid: his power is that spikes come out of his body, what the fuck is that? I could roll around in glue and syringes and get that guy’s power.

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Zoh

Middle-Aged man: I think vampires are kind of stupid. They seem to care an awful lot about how they look and what others think. It’s like, who cares? You’re six hundred years old and on your way to hell, hello?

–5th Ave

Overheard by: Someone who thinks he has a point

Asian girl: One of my cousins is a dragon.

–32nd St

Overheard by: sneakyintern

Posted on July 5, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Asians, Beauty, Brooklyn, Internet, Nerds, One-liners, Upper East Side, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!

That Thing You Wrote About Counting

Teen girl #1: I just don’t understand why people wait so long to have kids. Then you’re so old that you can’t relate to them. If I’d had a kid when I was like, eleven, he’d have been three by the time I was fourteen.
Teen girl #2: Yeah. I totally read something about this on your LiveJournal.

–Yaffa Cafe, St. Mark’s Place

Overheard by: Miriam

Posted on June 30, 2006
Age/Aging, Girlfriends, Girls, Idiots, Internet, Restaurants & Cafes, Teens

It Could Be Worse (It Could Be Nerve)

Girl on cell: You have to just ask him. But you have to ask him to his face so you can see his reaction. Just look him in the eye and say, “Dad, are you on Match.com?” and see if he looks surprised. You just have to confront stuff like that.

–4th & Broadway

Overheard by: uncle frank

Posted on June 17, 2006
Internet, On Cell, Parents, Union Square and East Village

~YOUR HEADLINE HERE~

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