Wireless Wednesday One-Liners

Aspiring hipster: All I need now is a tattoo and a MySpace and I’ll be set!

–Oustide Around the Clock, 9th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Molly

Blonde girl: Does anyone know if the subway has wireless connection?

–1 train

Girl on cell: Well, would you fix my computer for free? … What is it with guys who fix my computer wanting to be paid in sexual favors? You’re like the fourth guy to say that to me this year.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Vicksburg

Lady on cell: Well, have you asked him to close his MySpace account? Well, if he really loved you, he would close it!

–28th St, between Madison & Park

Overheard by: mommamoose

Teen chick on cell: Yeah, it’s funny… Google it. Wait, do you guys even have Google in Florida?

–54th & Park

Overheard by: floridian passerby

Teen chick: Oh my god! I am so putting that on the internet!

–Times Square

Posted on January 10, 2007
Google, Internet, Myspace, On Cell, Teens

Pretty Much Covers It

Chick #1: So, what are you going to talk about?
Chick #2: What’s there to talk about? The weather? Craigslist prostitution? That’s all I have on my mind these days.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: gotta love those elevator convos

Posted on December 10, 2006
Columbia, Internet, Students

Wednesday One-Liners Hallah Back

Chick complaining about looking for roommates: The problem with today is that everybody’s Jewish.

–Dobbin & Norman

Overheard by: Sam Tresler

Young quasi-gangster to friends: Even if you’re not Jewish, you’re, like… Jewish.

–Post-Yankees game on B train

Overheard by: Indiana

Tourist chick: How, how, how can there be no Jewish deli? All I want is a tongue sandwich and a fucking piece of pizza!

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: X-tal

Lady suit: Are you saying you’d rather be with a Jewish person than a wife-beater?

–18th & 6th

Overheard by: emily

JAP: Shiksas are totally not allowed on Jdate!

–71st & Columbus

Overheard by: DebDan

Chick in stall to friend: It must be a Jewish thing, but whenever there’s food around I have to eat it — even if I’m not hungry.

–Restroom, Loews Cinema, 11th & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Em

Queer: No, like, of course you’re not Jewish. I just wanted to check before I dissed the Jews.

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: hilla

Posted on November 22, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Dating, Ethnic Food, Food, Grand Central, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Insults, Internet, JAPs, Jews, Manhattan, Men, Movie Theaters, On the Subway, People, Places, Pop Culture, Queers, Real Estate, Sex & Relationships, Shiksas (& other Gentiles), Stall Spies, Suits, Topics, Tourists, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Venues, Women

After All, Marriage Is a Three-Year Commitment

Girl #1: I’ve been doing eHarmony, and all of the guys they’ve matched me with have fit my personality really well.
Girl #2: I want to try eHarmony.
Queer: You’re getting married in, like, three months.
Girl #2: I know… I’m just curious.

–Uptown 6 train

Overheard by: I Know a Good Divorce Lawyer

Posted on September 22, 2006
Bimbettes, Dating, Friends, Girls, Internet, On the Subway, Talking/Convos

Poor Little Guy

Girl #1: I had to close my account.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I wasn’t creeping anyone out. Like, the other day some guy IMs me, and I tell him that I’m really into short guys, like five foot three and under, because I want to feel like I’m fooling around with a little boy.
Girl #2: What did he say?
Girl #1: He asked me if I wanted to meet up. Lavalife freak.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Alex

Posted on September 18, 2006
Creepsters, Girls, Internet, Relationships, Washington Square Park

I’m Gonna Go With Both, Just to Be Sure

Ghetto girl #1: So I was all, “As if,” and she was all, “Whatever!”
Ghetto girl #2: Yo, dat’s some fucked up shit.
Ghetto girl #1: So when I got home, I totally unfriended her on MySpace.
Ghetto girl #2: I’ma hafta smack dat bitch up, fo’ realz!
Ghetto girl #1: Oh, just unfriend her! She’d hate that even more!

–S train

Overheard by: Joe Jervis

Posted on September 4, 2006
Bitch-slap, Friendship, Ghetto Chicks, Internet, On the Subway, Violence

Yet, For Some Reason, a Journal Doesn’t Seem Public Enough

Hipster boy #1: I’ve decided to start a blog.
Hipster boy #2: It’s about time!
Hipster boy #1: I know. And I’m not doing it because of the peer pressure. It’s just for me.

–Bowery Ballroom, Delancey St

Posted on August 10, 2006
Hipsters, Internet, Lower East Side

If You Want it to Be

Girl #1: Why don’t you just email me?
Girl #2: Oh, let me guess: hotmail? You look like you use hotmail!
Girl #1: Yahoo…Wait, was that a come-on?

–R train

Overheard by: Michael

Posted on August 10, 2006
Friends, Internet, On the Subway

Wednesday One-Liners Can’t Decide Which Coldplay Lyric to Put in Their Profiles

Teen girl: Wow! I just realized I haven’t been online all day!

–34th & 6th

Overheard by: Different Generation

Middle-aged woman: 50% of the population is allergic to wheat. They just don’t know it. It’s true– I read it on the internet.

–Port Authority

Guy: You should start a fight with her on MySpace.

–75th & Amsterdam

Guy: I’m pretty sure my cat has Down’s syndrome…You can read about it on my MySpace blog.

–Spice, Chelsea

Overheard by: DJR

Thug: MySpace is like crack, yo. I’m addicted to that shit.

–F train

Overheard by: Laurence Lau

Girl: Google is, like, totally taking over the world!

–Terminal 4, JFK

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Girl on cell: We need, like, a slutty web-designer friend we can bring in on this.

–Harlem

Overheard by: Buttons

Scruffy dude: I should just bring her a bunch of photos of my ex-girlfriend and slam them down and be like, “Find one, just one of these, that you’re hotter than.” I can’t believe she wouldn’t give me her e-mail address. She must be out of her mind. I mean, just give me a fake one. Like, something at hotmail.com. Anything!

–54th & 10th

Overheard by: Waiting for The Colbert Report

Guy wearing t-shirt that says “You are so off my buddy list”: So I am thinking about creating another website that’s Jedi-friendly.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Palmala Handerson

Posted on August 9, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Google, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Internet, JFK Airport, Music, Penn Station, Port Authority, Stupidity, Teens, Thugs

Wednesday One-Liners Own Eight-Sided Dice

Loud, nerdy guy: They’re basically a bunch of shitty MySpace kids with mutant powers. Like the hedgehog kid: his power is that spikes come out of his body, what the fuck is that? I could roll around in glue and syringes and get that guy’s power.

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Zoh

Middle-Aged man: I think vampires are kind of stupid. They seem to care an awful lot about how they look and what others think. It’s like, who cares? You’re six hundred years old and on your way to hell, hello?

–5th Ave

Overheard by: Someone who thinks he has a point

Asian girl: One of my cousins is a dragon.

–32nd St

Overheard by: sneakyintern

Posted on July 5, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Asians, Beauty, Brooklyn, Internet, Nerds, One-liners, Upper East Side, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!

Internet