Hipster girl: Oh my god! You’re Catholic? I’m Catholic, too!
Guy: Really?
Hipster girl: Yeah! Well, not really.
Guy: So you just say you’re Catholic, just in case? Do you believe in everything, just in case?
Hipster girl: No! Well, I guess so. I’m also Jewish.
–20th St & Park
Overheard by: vic
Black 10-year-old girl: Mommy! Mommy! Can I get some ice cream?
Ghetto mom: I ain’t gettin’ you no ice cream. Ain’t no holiday.
Black 10-year-old girl: Is so! It’s the Jewish New Year!
–11th St & Ave C
Guy #1: So my roommate keeps kosher.
Guy #2: Dude, that’s awesome.
Guy #1: Why is that awesome?
Friend: ‘Cause you now have intricate, firsthand knowledge of the best pastrami sandwiches this side of Park. In fact, I think you should call him right now. I want a knish.
–6 train
Overheard by: Not to mention the best lawyers, doctors, sch
Confused shiksa: I don’t know, he was either Jewish or Polish or something…He had on that little beanie, you know?
–Gate 5, Delta Terminal, JFK
Asian chick: I like you because I can say all this ignorant Jewish stuff, and you know what I’m talking about.
–Dallas BBQ, 23rd & 8th
Overheard by: McFreaky
Guy on cell: No it’s all going to be fine. We already locked up the rabbi.
–PATH train
Overheard by: He didn’t even look like Mel Gibson…
Black guy #1 to black guy #2: Jews for Jesus? What kind of racist shit is that, Negro?
–Subway tunnel, Times Square
Overheard by: Cameron H.
Hipster: I was at a Klan meeting when I found out I was Jewish. I just about hung myself.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Nial
Chick: They were either Orthodox Jews or Rocky Horror fanatics.
–11th & 2nd
Overheard by: Saran Wrap
Egyptian dude: See, other people in the Middle East do not really hate Jews. We are very similar to Jews, actually. Egyptians and Palestinians and Lebanese and Israelis, all of us make lots of deli foods that have lots of spices and names that are fun to say…And if you are Egyptian, the war does not mean so much. If you grew up there, you grew up with the giant pyramids. You know the pyramids? Yes, well you can see them from the city, and you think “Who built those? Slaves. Who did they build them for? Dead people.” And then things like wars do not bother you so much.
–Pita Pan, 1st St & 7 Ave, Brooklyn
Hipster girl: What’s up with all the Jews for Jesus stuff everywhere?
Hipster guy: I don’t know. I think Jews just try to adopt whatever’s mainstream and will make them money.
–A/C/E underpass, Times Square station
Overheard by: Al
Shiksa girl #1: Oh, now I get it!
Shiksa girl #2: Get what?
Shiksa girl #1: Jews for Jesus. See, Jews don’t usually believe in Jesus, but these ones do.
Shiksa girl #2: That totally makes sense. That’s why they’re called “Jews for Jesus”!
Jewish dude: They’re not Jews. They’re Christians.
Shiksa girl #2: But it says “Jews for Jesus”!
Jewish dude: If you believe in Jesus, you aren’t a Jew.
Shiksa girl #1: I don’t get it.
–Uptown 1 train
Overheard by: Lauren Lerner
Crazy lady: Hooray! Jewish people!
Guy Wearing “Israeli Defense Force” t-shirt: Actually, I’m Catholic.
–60th & Madison
Woman #1: He likes to take the kids camping every summer.
Woman #2: I never would have thought he’d enjoy all that outdoorsy stuff.
Woman #1: Well, he’s very non-Jewish.
–Ladies’ room, midtown office building
White girl: Man, I’m sweating like a Jew in the Holocaust!
White guy: Yeah, and I’m sweating like a nigga on a rape charge.
–G train
Overheard by: hot and sweaty
Woman: You know how the Germans continue to punish the Jews? They date them.
–6th St & 2nd Ave
