Queer #1: I woke up this morning with a used condom hanging from my ass. Was that you?
Queer #2: You are so disgusting.
–Cilantro’s, 89th & 2nd
Overheard by: Srednivashtar
Queer #1: I woke up this morning with a used condom hanging from my ass. Was that you?
Queer #2: You are so disgusting.
–Cilantro’s, 89th & 2nd
Overheard by: Srednivashtar
Dude #1: Going to NYU is interesting.
Dude #2: No, getting a girl pregnant is interesting.
–Washington Square South & LaGuardia
Old man: I’m a pretty good driver when I’m drunk.
Old woman: I don’t think so.
Old man: You just don’t like how fast I go.
Old woman: …I don’t think so.
Old man: Oh, the endless debate. He, he, he.
–Saurin Parke Cafe, West 110th Sreet
Overheard by: Wendy Darling
Paralegal chick #1: You have any plans for tonight?
Paralegal chick #2: Yeah, I’m going on a date with a girl I met online.
Paralegal chick #1: Oh. I didn’t know that you’re a lesbian.
Paralegal chick #2: I’m not.
–Office, 42nd & Lexington
Hobo: Do you have any spare change?
Guy #1: No.
Hobo: Fuck you, you fuckin’ faggot.
Guy #2: Actually, he’s the straight one, and you should be nicer if you expect people to give you money.
Hobo: Fuckin’ faggot, you ain’t got nothin on me!
–2nd Avenue station
Little boy: Hurry up, hurry up, mommy! We don’t want to be late for the party!
Mom: Honey, there is no party to be late for.
–71st & Broadway
Overheard by: Natasha
Suit #1: Hey, did we ever find out how Chris Penn died?
Suit #2: Yeah. He died of being a big, fat fuck.
–50th between 6th & 7th
Businessman lady: I’ll have a light latte please, with brown sugar. You do have brown sugar, don’t you?
Countergirl: Um, no.
Businessman lady: Well, then give me your finest, finest grade sugar, all right?
Countergirl: Oh. Sure.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, 93rd & 1st
Overheard by: Gina Loiacono
Girl: I accidentally bent my MetroCard and now it won’t swipe.
MTA guy: How do you accidentally bend it?
Girl: Um, I didn’t mean to…
MTA guy: Did you want me to replace this card with a new one that’s not bent?
Girl: Yeah, that would be great.
MTA guy: Because we don’t do that.
–Wall Street 2/3 station
Tourist guy #1: What’s going on?
Tourist guy #2: Apparently someone is a motherfucker.
–42nd & 7th
