Businessman lady: I’ll have a light latte please, with brown sugar. You do have brown sugar, don’t you?
Countergirl: Um, no.
Businessman lady: Well, then give me your finest, finest grade sugar, all right?
Countergirl: Oh. Sure.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, 93rd & 1st
Overheard by: Gina Loiacono
Girl: I accidentally bent my MetroCard and now it won’t swipe.
MTA guy: How do you accidentally bend it?
Girl: Um, I didn’t mean to…
MTA guy: Did you want me to replace this card with a new one that’s not bent?
Girl: Yeah, that would be great.
MTA guy: Because we don’t do that.
–Wall Street 2/3 station
Tourist guy #1: What’s going on?
Tourist guy #2: Apparently someone is a motherfucker.
–42nd & 7th
Guy #1: Did you know Bush agreed to share nuclear technology with the Indians?
Guy #2: Why do Indians need it? Oklahaoma is already a part of the US.
Guy #1: Dude, Indians as in citizens of India, a country in Asia.
Guy #2: I was never good at history.
Guy #1: You mean geography.
Guy #2: Asshole.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: margaret
Guy: It’s not that I’m against marriage. I mean, I like weddings.
–Sammy’s Roumanian Steakhouse, Chrystie Street
Guy: The only reason she was hanging out with those dudes is because she was hoping that one of them would kill me…But that’s neither here nor there.
–6 train
Girl: I know you’re not religious, but do you believe in dinosaurs?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Sasha
Hobo: You want to see the ugliest person…Look over there at the lady in the brown coat. Don’t look though, it could be scary. It’ll electrify ya. Scare ya stiff. That, my friends, is ugly.
–L train
Overheard by: Jess
Dude: Shit man, slow down. Slow down. Whatcha runnin’ to?Yoga? Nigga’s runnin’ to yoga. White man runnin’ to yoga. Thought yoga was supposed to cure that shit.
–Union Square
Woman: So, has your little friend Jamie text messaged you recently?
Man: No, actually she hasn’t.
Woman: That’s right, because I called that fucking bitch up and told her to find her own man.
Man: Are you kidding me?
Woman: No. And by the way, your mom made me do it.
–Candela, East 17th Street
