Drunk guy: Why should I invite you up to my apartment?
Drunk girl: Because I’m beautiful ASSHOLE!
–80th & 2nd
Drunk guy: Why should I invite you up to my apartment?
Drunk girl: Because I’m beautiful ASSHOLE!
–80th & 2nd
Wheelchair guy: Hey, let me see that football.
Dude: No, sorry.
Wheelchair guy: What, are you afraid I’m going to run away with it?
–125th & Lexington
Overheard by: brian corcoran
Two tourists spot the people camped out in front of the Mexican Consulate.
Tourist #1: Are all those people trying to get tickets to a concert or something?
Tourist #2: Maybe. Do you think that’s Radio City?
–39th & Madison
Lady: Excuse me, can I borrow a light?
Tanktop girl: Sure.
Lady: Thank you so much. [Turns and whispers to guy she’s with:] See, I told you. I think if you’re nice to them, they’re nice to you.
Tanktop girl: Tourists are so cute.
–Outside Welcome to the Johnsons, Rivington & Norfolk
Overheard by: djlindee
Girl: So was he, like, a player?
Guy: Who, Charlie?
Girl: No, that Genghis Khan guy.
–114th & Amsterdam
Drunk guy: Lemme get a bacon, egg, and cheese.
Cashier: Sorry, we don’t have bacon.
Drunk guy: Can I have it on a bagel then?
Cashier: That’s not the problem. We don’t have any bacon.
Drunk guy: Can I just have a bacon, egg and cheese?
Cashier: Sir, there is no bacon, ok?
Drunk guy: Can I just have your number then?
–Dunkin’ Donuts, 83rd St.
Overheard by: Maunica
Girl #1: …so, my professor started talking about The Diary of Anne Frank.
Girl #2: Oh, Anne Frank! I used to love her! I had the diary, the notebooks and the pencils and everything.
Queer: What?
Girl #1: I think she means Lisa Frank.
–27th & 7th
Man: With this many books you are almost certain to make a mistake in your choice.
–The Strand
Overheard by: Jill A.
White guy #1: What’s she look like?
White guy #2: She’s really hot, she’s black.
White guy #1: You mean African-American.
White guy #2: No, I don’t.
White guy #1: But you said she’s black.
White guy #2: Right, she’s Sicilian. She’s neither African nor American.
White guy #1: Well, her family must have come from Africa at some point.
White guy #2: Yeah, like 1000 years ago.
White guy #1: Ok, then she’s African.
–39th & 3rd
Frat boy #1: Dude, you have, like, pills all over your counter. You have, like, a pharmacy on your counter, Dude. Why?
Frat boy #2: I don’t know. Wait, I don’t have pills all over my counter.
Frat boy #1: Yes, you do, Dude.
Frat boy #2: Oh, those…
–113th and Amsterdam
Overheard by: lotuseater
