Manhattan

Overheard Signs

Chick #1: Do you have a book called White Supremacy by Fredrickson?
Store guy: No.
Chick #1: Can you see if any other Barnes & Noble has it?
Store guy: No, none in Manhattan. I take it it’s for a class or something?
Chick #1: No, it’s for my own, uh, personal knowledge. Thanks anyway.
Store guy: Sure.
Chick #2: I need a book of art or photographs by crazy people.

–Barnes & Noble, Astor Place

Next Wednesday, 2/22, the Overheard staff–both of us–will be reading and signing the new Overheard in New York book at the above location. It starts at 7.

Frank Lloyd Wright Is Spinning in His Ugly-Ass Grave

Guy #1: What’s that? A parking garage?
Guy #2 [alarmed]: That’s the Guggenheim!

–Across the street from the Guggenheim

Overheard by: Mary T Helmes Sheely

They Wore White to the Funeral

Girl #1: Guess who my dad saw in an elevator yesterday? Johnny Carson.
Girl #2: I’m pretty sure he’s dead. Don’t you mean Johnny Cash?

–55th & 3rd

Why Shower When You Can Swiffer?

Dude: Is she a stripper?
Girl: I don’t think so. Although she does hang around a lot of French people.
Dude: What about the guy…is he French?
Girl: Must be. He smells like hardwood floors.

–Union Square

It’s Quite a Bind

Woman #1: But not all Asian girls are pretty.
Woman #2: Oh I know, but he just thinks that, on a scale of 1-10, Asian girls start off with like a +10.
Woman #1: Oh, well that’s good, because most white guys just see that they’re Asian and don’t consider whether they’re really pretty or not.

–78th & Lexington

“Tell” is Okay; “Show” is the Problem

Woman #1: So you never finished telling me that story about whatshisname…Come over here and tell me while I dookie.
Woman #2: Uh…
Woman #1: What? Don’t act like I don’t tell you shit while you’re on the toilet!

–Port Authority ladies’ room

Overheard by: elizabeth kim

I’ll Take 36 Inches of Rice, Please

Woman: How’s the paella?
Waitress: It’s good. It comes with clams and the whole nine yards.

–Panchito’s, Macdougal St.

Falling and Chipping Your Dentures Isn’t a “New Trick”

Girl #1: Jeez, that old woman just standing in the middle of the sidewalk, I wanted to push her.
Girl #2: You’re never too old to learn a lesson.

–Balthazar, Spring Street

Overheard by: zrd

Sarcastic Anal Is the New Blow Job

College girl on cell: I need that like I need a dick in the ass.
Random guy: I can help with that.
Girl, to guy: I was … being metaphysical … metaphorical?
Guy: I’ll take it either way.
Girl: Yeah, sarcastic … what she said [points to phone].
Guy: Well, I was being serious.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Lizzerd

You’ll Slide Right Off

NYU chick: Don’t hug him, he did a very stupid thing today

Gay guy #1 goes to hug gay guy #2 anyway.

Gay guy #2: Ow, watch out. I waxed my whole chest this morning.

–Washington Square Park

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