Cropped girl #1: Why doesn’t Dawn have any other friends?
Cropped girl #2: Would you hang out with her?
Long-haired girl: Yes. She has long, shiny hair.
Cropped girl #1: Well, you are easier than other people.
Cropped girl #2: This is why she is our friend.
Long-haired girl: But neither of you has long, shiny hair.
Cropped girl #2: But I did when you first met me.
Long-haired girl: And that has held over.
–13th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Lola
Fashionista gets off elevator, bumping into guys on her way out.
Balding Greek guy: You know what she needs? A good dick up the ass, that’s what she needs!
Black guy: That’s what all them bitches need.
–1407 Broadway
Overheard by: Big Larry
Girl: She is so fucking dirty. I swear, whenever she touches her hair she has to wash her hands.
Guy: Or make fried chicken.
–52nd & 10th
Girl #1 on cell: So I freaked out as soon as I saw Ethan and… And… What’s his name, Bill?
Girl #2: Ben.
Girl #1 on cell: And Ted.
Girl #2: Ben
Girl #1: Ed.
Girl #2: Ben!
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: Ben!
Girl #1 on cell: Well, Henry.
–5th Ave & 16th
Overheard by: in love with jack
Chinese guy: Why not?
Chinese girl: Cause I don’t like the taste.
Chinese guy: But it’s the only way I can get off.
Chinese girl: Fine but eat something that makes it liquidy, otherwise it’s too hard.
–Grand & Chrystie
Guy: I don’t get it. C-Town has more of a selection!
Girl: …I don’t know why you have to ruin this experience for me.
–Trader Joe’s, East 14th Street
Overheard by: ToneLoca
Frantic Chick: Where’s my bag? All my clothes were in there. Oh God, I have to dress like a whore for the next two weeks!
–Costume Party, Dumbo
Guy: I’o’really mess with Queens, or people from Queens. [pause] 130th Street and 5th Ave, that shit is mad weird! You ever been to his house! That shit is mad white! You never gonna get in a fight there. [pause] Who eats ketchup — by is’self?
–Puebla Mexican Food & Coffee Shop, 1st Ave between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: C-Dub
Journalism professor: Can anyone, for extra credit, give me two words to describe this day that will go down in history?
Silence
Professor: I’ll give you a clue — it has to do with President Bush.
Random student: “Mission accomplished!”
Girl #1 to her friend: Mission Impossible? What does Tom Cruise have to do with Bush?
Girl #2: Yeah, I know, that movie isn’t even out yet!
–Silver Center, NYU
Columbia girl: I can’t believe the 1 is skipping all the stops from 96th to 145th.
Guy: I know. You’ll have to transfer at 145th for the downtown.
Subway stops at 145th.
Columbia girl: Is this where Manhattan ends?
–1 train
