Girl #1: Guess who my dad saw in an elevator yesterday? Johnny Carson.
Girl #2: I’m pretty sure he’s dead. Don’t you mean Johnny Cash?
–55th & 3rd
Girl #1: Guess who my dad saw in an elevator yesterday? Johnny Carson.
Girl #2: I’m pretty sure he’s dead. Don’t you mean Johnny Cash?
–55th & 3rd
Dude: Is she a stripper?
Girl: I don’t think so. Although she does hang around a lot of French people.
Dude: What about the guy…is he French?
Girl: Must be. He smells like hardwood floors.
–Union Square
Woman #1: But not all Asian girls are pretty.
Woman #2: Oh I know, but he just thinks that, on a scale of 1-10, Asian girls start off with like a +10.
Woman #1: Oh, well that’s good, because most white guys just see that they’re Asian and don’t consider whether they’re really pretty or not.
–78th & Lexington
Woman #1: So you never finished telling me that story about whatshisname…Come over here and tell me while I dookie.
Woman #2: Uh…
Woman #1: What? Don’t act like I don’t tell you shit while you’re on the toilet!
–Port Authority ladies’ room
Overheard by: elizabeth kim
Woman: How’s the paella?
Waitress: It’s good. It comes with clams and the whole nine yards.
–Panchito’s, Macdougal St.
Girl #1: Jeez, that old woman just standing in the middle of the sidewalk, I wanted to push her.
Girl #2: You’re never too old to learn a lesson.
–Balthazar, Spring Street
Overheard by: zrd
College girl on cell: I need that like I need a dick in the ass.
Random guy: I can help with that.
Girl, to guy: I was … being metaphysical … metaphorical?
Guy: I’ll take it either way.
Girl: Yeah, sarcastic … what she said [points to phone].
Guy: Well, I was being serious.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Lizzerd
NYU chick: Don’t hug him, he did a very stupid thing today
Gay guy #1 goes to hug gay guy #2 anyway.
Gay guy #2: Ow, watch out. I waxed my whole chest this morning.
–Washington Square Park
Teen girl #1: You shouldn’t chew gum; it makes you stupider.
Teen girl #2: Oh yeah?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I heard that somewhere.
Teen girl #2: Well, I heard somewhere that you’re an idiot. No, wait, that was right here.
–Stuyvesant High School, Chambers Street
Chick: We were trying to name all fifty states. And I was like, “Is Delaware a state?” and then three other people asked the same thing!
–36th & 8th
Overheard by: not minding my own business
(Actually, Delaware is a small town.)
