Fortysomething dude: Don’t tell me I don’t know about metabolism! I have known about metabolism my entire life. Metabolize yourself!
–The Gate, Park Slope
Overheard by: Moochy and D-Rock
Girl on cell: I don’t want to talk about your eating disorder every fucking time we talk!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: mondo man
Girl #1: I just don’t think I’m his type. He’s very intellectual.
Girl #2: What do you mean?
Girl #1: He’s all “yada yada yada” and I’m very “What’s your favorite Starburst?”
–Cosi, 31st & Park
Overheard by: Clara
Girl #1: Ha, ha, you said first was the worst.
Girl #2: No, I said, “first was the burst.”
Girl #1: What the heck does that mean?
Girl #2: It means…Starburst.
–M104 bus
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
Little boy: Mom? Can I have this gum? I haven’t had this in years!
Mom: “Years”? You’re only 5!
–Duane Reade, 49th & 9th
Chick #1: Do you have a book called White Supremacy by Fredrickson?
Store guy: No.
Chick #1: Can you see if any other Barnes & Noble has it?
Store guy: No, none in Manhattan. I take it it’s for a class or something?
Chick #1: No, it’s for my own, uh, personal knowledge. Thanks anyway.
Store guy: Sure.
Chick #2: I need a book of art or photographs by crazy people.
–Barnes & Noble, Astor Place
Next Wednesday, 2/22, the Overheard staff–both of us–will be reading and signing the new Overheard in New York book at the above location. It starts at 7.
Guy #1: What’s that? A parking garage?
Guy #2 [alarmed]: That’s the Guggenheim!
–Across the street from the Guggenheim
Overheard by: Mary T Helmes Sheely
Girl #1: Guess who my dad saw in an elevator yesterday? Johnny Carson.
Girl #2: I’m pretty sure he’s dead. Don’t you mean Johnny Cash?
–55th & 3rd
Dude: Is she a stripper?
Girl: I don’t think so. Although she does hang around a lot of French people.
Dude: What about the guy…is he French?
Girl: Must be. He smells like hardwood floors.
–Union Square
Woman #1: But not all Asian girls are pretty.
Woman #2: Oh I know, but he just thinks that, on a scale of 1-10, Asian girls start off with like a +10.
Woman #1: Oh, well that’s good, because most white guys just see that they’re Asian and don’t consider whether they’re really pretty or not.
–78th & Lexington
Woman #1: So you never finished telling me that story about whatshisname…Come over here and tell me while I dookie.
Woman #2: Uh…
Woman #1: What? Don’t act like I don’t tell you shit while you’re on the toilet!
–Port Authority ladies’ room
Overheard by: elizabeth kim
Woman: How’s the paella?
Waitress: It’s good. It comes with clams and the whole nine yards.
–Panchito’s, Macdougal St.
