Little Jewish girl: Where's my brother? Does daddy know where he is?
Jewish mother: Sweetie, your daddy went to get a latte while mommy was giving birth to your brother, that shows how much he cares.
–Riverside Park
Overheard by: Leigh
Little Jewish girl: Where's my brother? Does daddy know where he is?
Jewish mother: Sweetie, your daddy went to get a latte while mommy was giving birth to your brother, that shows how much he cares.
–Riverside Park
Overheard by: Leigh
Woman: Something got stuck in my sinuses, then it went down my spine and had a party.
–BBQ, UWS
Guy on cell: Bitch, you aren’t coming out?…I haven’t been home in a year and a half, get your ass out here!…What? I nearly died! I was shot! Twice!
–43rd & Broadway
Guy: I mean, eating your own cum is one thing, but eating it on a pizza four hours later? I should probably keep my voice down…
–43rd & 8th
Banker guy: I hope you have bail money.
Bouncer guy: Fuck you.
Manager guy: What’s the problem here?
Banker guy: He shoved me.
Manager guy: I don’t know anything about that, but you didn’t bring ID.
Banker guy: I have my Dartmouth ID and my Goldman Sachs ID.
–outside Brass Monkey, Little West 12th Street
Overheard by: pb dot c
Man, to old woman pouring paint thinner into the sewer: You know, you’ll kill the alligators like that.
–39th & Lex
Methodone lover: I told him, “If you do that again, I’m gonna sic the alligators on you!”
–Whitehall Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: Steven Lowell
Tourist, kneeling in front of a giant stone head: Help me, Olmec! Where is the shrine of the silver monkey?
–Museum of Natural History
Chelsea boy: Yeah…My God, the boys there were so hot! Their asses were all tight and round…Mmm…like a Chihuahua’s.
–19th & 6th
Overheard by: CocteauBoy
5-Year-Old boy, passing the smelly horse carriages on Central Park South: Eww, are there camels around here?
–59th between Broadway & 7th
Overheard by: Carmiya Weinraub
Old man, passing bear sculpture: Bears eat too much.
–American Wing Cafe, the Met
Overheard by: guingel
MTA hardhat: Yeah, for lunch I’ll have either the rat on a stick or the pigeon on a stick.
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Brewster
Guy on cell: I just saw a pigeon, and it reminded me of you.
–Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: Jon A.
Commuter: Oh, I’ve always been into manatees.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jon
Woman, to child: That’s why imagination is really nice. You can imagine that cat you have always wanted, and it’s almost like having him for real…even though you never will.
–53rd & Broadway
Animal lover: I never used to like cats. But then I had this dream where this cat, like, told me, “I love you,” so I got a cat.
–10th St & 1st Ave
Bus rider: My son’s frog jumped up there, and now I can’t take a poop.
–Q101 bus
Overheard by: Kaleena
Suit: No, no, it’s a woman with a donkey, not two donkeys! Jesus.
–14th St 1 station
Non-Ghetto woman on cell: That’s nigga’s crazier than a road lizard!
–59th & 7th
Picky girl: You won’t believe the pick up line he used. He actually said, “I want to be your beast.”
–The Strand, Broadway
Overheard by: Miss Parker
Local hipster chick: Well, what did you think of the show?
Jersey girl: It was different… better than going back to Hoboken and falling asleep on my couch.
–Theater above KGB bar
Girl: I wish I hadn’t eaten those pancakes for breakfast. I feel sick. Thanks a lot.
Guy: “Thanks a lot”? All you wanted to do this morning was eat pancakes!
Girl: What? I just wanted oatmeal. You are the one who woke up and said, “Yay! Let’s make pancakes!” You are the one who wanted them!
Guy: That’s because last night you said you wanted pancakes!
Girl: Oh. I was drunk.
–Houston & B
Overheard by: alison
Security guy: I wanna have like 15 kids all by the same woman.
Cashier: That’s crazy.
Security guy: My grandmother had 16 kids. That’s a real woman. I want to marry a real woman.
–Duane Reade, Bleeker & LaGuardia
Bald, dorky white guy on date: What kind of Italian restaurant doesn’t have Chicken Parmesan on the menu?
Homely-looking white girl on date: I know.
–Isola, 83rd & Columbus
