Girl #1: I’m funny.
Girl #2: No you’re not.
Girl #1: Yes I am. Everyone says I’m hilarious.
Girl #2: Of course they do. That’s because you aren’t pretty.
–Virgin, Union Square
Overheard by: djlindee
Girl #1: I’m funny.
Girl #2: No you’re not.
Girl #1: Yes I am. Everyone says I’m hilarious.
Girl #2: Of course they do. That’s because you aren’t pretty.
–Virgin, Union Square
Overheard by: djlindee
Man: Want to “hang out”? I have a six pack.
Girl: Uh…no. I am at work. I can’t hang out now.
Man: I am not a cop…Baby, I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry.
–43rd & 8th
Overheard by: Katie LaGreca
Guy: I like my dick with a little pussy on the side.
–3rd & Bowery
Possible paternity litigant: Paul Newman, another girl, and my mom were all having sex together right before I was born.
–6th St & 1st Ave
Queer: Is it wrong to think of my brother while I’m getting fucked in the ass?
Girl: Oh my god, I thought I was the only freak that thought that!
–Times Square
Overheard by: eavesdropper
HS girl: Man, this school is a ho!
Security guard: Yeah, and you gotta learn how to trick it right to get what you want out of it.
–Bread & Roses High, Harlem
Woman on cell: Yeah, I have to go. I’m too distracted on the phone, and I don’t trust anyone in this terminal. People are speaking Spanish behind me, if you know what I mean.
–LaGuardia
Girl #1: Ever notice how tightly girls hold onto their boyfriends when they are walking through Chelsea?
Girl #2: Right? It’s like they’re afraid he’s going to run out into traffic and get hit by a truck.
–17th & 8th
Lady lawyer #1: I can’t even relax when I’m getting a massage. I have to concentrate on relaxing.
Lady lawyer #2: Have you tried Valium?
Lady lawyer #1: No.
Lady lawyer #3: Have you tried pot?
–Office, Liberty Plaza
Guy: Why won’t you spend time with me?
Chick: Because I don’t want to date you, remember? I don’t like you.
Guy: C’mon, let’s go away for the weekend. Let’s go to St. John’s — I’ll pay.
Chick: That would make me a whore.
Guy: So, let’s go.
–Spring & Lafayette
Overheard by: S
Girl #1: Did you like it?
Girl #2: Yeah. It was amazing.
Girl #1: What about Eric?
Girl #2: He wants to become a gay cowboy now.
–Mary Ann’s Restaurant, 2nd Avenue & 5th Street
Overheard by: Overly Attentive Diner
