Guy #1: I love her so much…I won’t even jack off to her.
Guy #2: I guess I don’t love her as much as you do.
–Broadway & Thames
Guy #1: I love her so much…I won’t even jack off to her.
Guy #2: I guess I don’t love her as much as you do.
–Broadway & Thames
Suit #1: No sir, the kids don’t have school off tomorrow. You believe that?
Suit #2: Wait, the Catholic Schools don’t close for the Jewish holidays? You’re kidding me!
–Elevator, Park & 33rd
Overheard by: Nick Jezarian
Hipster guy: Last night my girlfriend called me Caligula.
Chick: That’s really scary, ’cause he was crazy and evil. Why did she call you Caligula?
Hipster guy: I don’t know. I mean, I guess I could understand if she was talking about his big cock.
–Office, 84th & 3rd
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Girl #1: I saw this homeless girl on the street who looked our age and I felt so bad.
Girl #2: So did you give her money?
Girl #1: No, my nails were wet.
–62nd & Lexington
Lady suit: I can’t keep coming here to get my prescription filled. They’re beginning to recognize me.
Suit: So what?
Lady suit: So, what if I get in trouble?
Suit: Why would you get in trouble? You have a prescription from a doctor.
Lady suit: If you say so. Oh, shit, I forgot to put the date on this.
–Duane Reade, 89th & Columbus
Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
Girl #1: I’m funny.
Girl #2: No you’re not.
Girl #1: Yes I am. Everyone says I’m hilarious.
Girl #2: Of course they do. That’s because you aren’t pretty.
–Virgin, Union Square
Overheard by: djlindee
Man: Want to “hang out”? I have a six pack.
Girl: Uh…no. I am at work. I can’t hang out now.
Man: I am not a cop…Baby, I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry.
–43rd & 8th
Overheard by: Katie LaGreca
Guy: I like my dick with a little pussy on the side.
–3rd & Bowery
Possible paternity litigant: Paul Newman, another girl, and my mom were all having sex together right before I was born.
–6th St & 1st Ave
Queer: Is it wrong to think of my brother while I’m getting fucked in the ass?
Girl: Oh my god, I thought I was the only freak that thought that!
–Times Square
Overheard by: eavesdropper
HS girl: Man, this school is a ho!
Security guard: Yeah, and you gotta learn how to trick it right to get what you want out of it.
–Bread & Roses High, Harlem
