Employee: Ma’am, can I help you?
Woman: I’d like a half dozen of your chocolate chip cookies.
Employee: We only sell them, like, 1, 2, 3…
Woman to friend: Is she serious?
Friend: She’ll take 6.
–Starbucks, Rockefeller Center Concourse
Employee: Ma’am, can I help you?
Woman: I’d like a half dozen of your chocolate chip cookies.
Employee: We only sell them, like, 1, 2, 3…
Woman to friend: Is she serious?
Friend: She’ll take 6.
–Starbucks, Rockefeller Center Concourse
Guy: Is that for picket or chain link?
Old man: No, it’s for an Olympic event.
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Ray Fisher
Man #1: This subway smells like citrus fruit.
Man #2: Yeah, Mr. Lemonhead got killed here.
Woman: I peed on his face once.
–2nd Avenue station
Overheard by: Tourist in Town
High school boy: Superheroes are cool, right?
High school girls: (laughs)
–Governors Island
Overheard by: Brigdh
Girl: Who was she with?
Hairdresser: I’m not, like, racist or anything, but she came with two guys, one was Puerto Rican and one was black!
–Supercuts, 3rd and 32nd
Overheard by: Joe
Man: That banana is huge!
Girl: Yeah, I know.
Man: It must have been on steroids.
Girl: No, if it were on steroids, it would have been much, much smaller.
–Deli, 14th & 8th
Overheard by: Tony from Brooklyn
Art magazine-type girl #1: I guess some guy was touching her ass.
Art magazine-type girl #2: What? I can’t believe it. I’ve been riding the 4 and the 5 for like, six years, and no one ever touches my ass.
Art magazine-type girl #1: Really? I don’t know. Maybe when it gets warmer you should wear a sarong. I definitely get felt up more when I wear a sarong.
Art magazine-type girl #2: OK, I will.
–Park Ave. South & 21st
Dude: I’m looking for this non-fiction book.
Store guy: What is it?
Dude: How to Build a Time Machine.
–Barnes and Noble, 6th Avenue & 8th Street
Guy on cell: Uh huh, and that’s why you have herpes, dude.
–Outside Gonzalez y Gonzalez
Overheard by: Jaina Wald
Teen girl #1: You know what I think the worst smell would be? Dirty diapers with rotting flesh wrapped in rubber; all set on fire.
Teen girl #2: What about sulfur, too?
Teen girl #1: Well, sulfur usually comes along with the burning anyway. And you know, that all might smell so bad that it smells good…
Teen girl #2: Yeah, you should tell Dartmouth that when you interview there.
–81st & CPW
Overheard by: Ariamy
