That Goes Double for the Nuts

Man: That banana is huge!
Girl: Yeah, I know.
Man: It must have been on steroids.
Girl: No, if it were on steroids, it would have been much, much smaller.

–Deli, 14th & 8th

Overheard by: Tony from Brooklyn

Posted on March 1, 2015
Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Food, Manhattan, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Sports

A PVC Corset Works, Too

Art magazine-type girl #1: I guess some guy was touching her ass.
Art magazine-type girl #2: What? I can’t believe it. I’ve been riding the 4 and the 5 for like, six years, and no one ever touches my ass.
Art magazine-type girl #1: Really? I don’t know. Maybe when it gets warmer you should wear a sarong. I definitely get felt up more when I wear a sarong.
Art magazine-type girl #2: OK, I will.

–Park Ave. South & 21st

Posted on February 27, 2015
Fashion, Manhattan, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Relationships

It’s Going to Be Published Last Year

Dude: I’m looking for this non-fiction book.
Store guy: What is it?
Dude: How to Build a Time Machine.

–Barnes and Noble, 6th Avenue & 8th Street

Posted on February 27, 2015
Arts & Letters, Books & Writing, Manhattan, The Village

Wednesday One-liner to Win Any Argument

Guy on cell: Uh huh, and that’s why you have herpes, dude.

–Outside Gonzalez y Gonzalez

Overheard by: Jaina Wald

Posted on February 26, 2015
Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, On Cell, One-liners, Restaurants & Cafes, STDs, The Village

NYU, Here She Comes

Teen girl #1: You know what I think the worst smell would be? Dirty diapers with rotting flesh wrapped in rubber; all set on fire.
Teen girl #2: What about sulfur, too?
Teen girl #1: Well, sulfur usually comes along with the burning anyway. And you know, that all might smell so bad that it smells good…
Teen girl #2: Yeah, you should tell Dartmouth that when you interview there.

–81st & CPW

Overheard by: Ariamy

Posted on February 26, 2015
Manhattan, Stupidity, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Guys Are So Hard to Please

Super thin model/actress on cell: Urrgghhh!!! Jonathan left me again [pause] I can’t believe it. [pause] For being too anorexic! Yeah, I thought being anorexic would be hot but apparently I’m now too anorexic.

–Union Square

Overheard by: benji