Black teen hipster #1: Why are there so many white people on the 2 train this late at night?
Black teen hipster #2: Please. All these white people are getting off at 96th Street.
Train stops at 96th. The white people leave the train.
Black Teen Hipster #2: Watch ’em all scamper away!
–2 train
Man: …so how’ve you been?
Woman: Been good, you know I’m done with bein’ bad.
Man: Nah, why’s that?
Woman: My thighs hurt.
–24th & Park
Overheard by: Kathryn Galloway
Buzz Aldrin’s wife: Every woman should control 75 to 90% of her husband’s life.
–Javits Center
Old lady: Do you have any glue?
Cashier chick: Yeah, what kind?
Old lady: Do you have any crazy glue? Not Krazy Glue, just crazier than Elmer’s.
–Vim Drugs, West 181st Street
Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky
Girl #1: Oh my God, look at that lady.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Titty drip!
Girl #2: Oh my God. Go home and milk yourself.
–19th & 5th
Chick #1: We can watch Lackawanna Blues tonight.
Chick #2: I can’t watch another black movie. I watched one last night.
Chick #1: What’d you watch last night?
Chick #2: Hitch.
–Office, Wall & William
Teenage girl #1: I heard something really awkward today, want to hear it?
Teenage girl #2: Okay.
Teenage girl #1: I heard that when you sneeze, you have one-eighth of an orgasm.
Teenage girl #2: Orgasms must be terrible.
–6th Ave
Overheard by: Sunny
Guy #1: What did you say?
Guy #2: What do you think I said? “That ain’t shampoo, it’s maple syrup.”
–1st between 74th & 75th
Overheard by: The Iron Lung
Teen girl on cell: …you just gotta sit him down and say we’re both pregnant by him and we wanna know if we can get along!
–Canal Street
JHS boy: Let’s make like a fetus and head out.
–Broadway & Washington Place
Drunk girl: How could I be pregnant? I like women!
–Times Square
Thug on cell: Nigga, how you been? Shit, I had five kids since I last seen you!
–Elizabeth & Prince
Guy on cell: Do we have to wash you and shave you and put a diaper on you before tonight?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: djlindee
Ghetto girl #1: He was like, ‘I wanna see yo shirt on my bedroom floor’ and I was like, ‘Is this a proposition?’ and he was like, ‘What proposition?’ and I was like, ‘Where’s my ring?’ and he was like, ‘Yo, bitch, I didn’t steal any ring!’ And then he just left.
Ghetto girl #2: I’m gonna say this cause you’re my friend: You’re soooo ghetto.
–Port Authority
