Dude: I’m looking for this non-fiction book.
Store guy: What is it?
Dude: How to Build a Time Machine.
–Barnes and Noble, 6th Avenue & 8th Street
Dude: I’m looking for this non-fiction book.
Store guy: What is it?
Dude: How to Build a Time Machine.
–Barnes and Noble, 6th Avenue & 8th Street
Guy on cell: Uh huh, and that’s why you have herpes, dude.
–Outside Gonzalez y Gonzalez
Overheard by: Jaina Wald
Teen girl #1: You know what I think the worst smell would be? Dirty diapers with rotting flesh wrapped in rubber; all set on fire.
Teen girl #2: What about sulfur, too?
Teen girl #1: Well, sulfur usually comes along with the burning anyway. And you know, that all might smell so bad that it smells good…
Teen girl #2: Yeah, you should tell Dartmouth that when you interview there.
–81st & CPW
Overheard by: Ariamy
Super thin model/actress on cell: Urrgghhh!!! Jonathan left me again [pause] I can’t believe it. [pause] For being too anorexic! Yeah, I thought being anorexic would be hot but apparently I’m now too anorexic.
–Union Square
Overheard by: benji
Hobo: Hey girl, wanna marry me?
Girl: [whispering] No, sorry.
Hobo: YES OR NO? Damnit, I don’t have forever.
–38th & 8th
Woman #1: Don’t you hate taking the train so early in the morning? I take it every day.
Woman #2: Could you not talk to me?
–A train
Overheard by: aida
Girl: Well maybe you should start seeing a therapist.
Guy: I bet you they’ll just say I’m paranoid.
–76th & Broadway
Guy #1: Do you think I’m too sensitive?
Guy #2: I…uh…don’t understand the question.
–Broadway & Fulton
Overheard by: Luke Taylor Brown
Guy #1: I love her so much…I won’t even jack off to her.
Guy #2: I guess I don’t love her as much as you do.
–Broadway & Thames
Suit #1: No sir, the kids don’t have school off tomorrow. You believe that?
Suit #2: Wait, the Catholic Schools don’t close for the Jewish holidays? You’re kidding me!
–Elevator, Park & 33rd
Overheard by: Nick Jezarian
