Should Have Gone With “Jewish Rabbi?”

Guy #1: With that hat and beard you look like a Jewish rabbi.
Guy #2: Dude, it’s not cool to make fun of people who aren’t Jewish.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Justin

Posted on March 20, 2015
Fashion, Jews, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Port Authority

Wednesday One-Liners: Cha-ching!

Guy on cell: Don’t play games with me or I’ll break your fuckin’ nose. Have you got the money? Where’s the fuckin’ money?

–47th & 5th

Overheard by: Adam Bertocci

Ghetto kid on cell: Yo, yo, you don’t want to play football? …Right, right, so just when you tackle them, put your hand in their pockets and take their money!

–M14 bus

Hobo: God, lady, I’m not asking for a million dollars; I’m just asking for some change!

–14th between 5th & University

Overheard by: theNJl

Biker dude: She’s a shrink and a psychiatrist, so you know she’s rollin’ in money.

–Starbucks, 27th & Park

Overheard by: Brawny McBrawnerson

Posted on March 19, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Bus, Crime and Punishment, Fighting and ass kicking, Hobos, Homeless, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nose Job, On Cell, On the Bus, People, Places, Psychology, Restaurants & Cafes, Rich people, Starbucks, Thievery, Threats, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues, Violence

This Cummerbund’s Really Shitty

Guy: Why are you wearing tuxedo pants?
Jon Stewart: I want to raise my baby formally. It’s black tie in the
house.

—Daily Show studios, 51st & 11th

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Posted on March 19, 2015
Celebrities Overheard, Fashion, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Parents

Wednesday One-liners for the Old

Girl: I think it’s “Alzheimer’s”; they’re old but it’s not “Oldsheimer’s”.

–57th and 3rd

Posted on March 18, 2015
Central Park, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, One-liners, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Lot’s Wife Had a Different View

Guy: I’ll have a pretzel.
Vendor man: What kind?
Guy: Plain.
Vendor man: No salt?
Guy: No. With salt.
Vendor man: Salt is not plain.
Guy: Okay, with salt. Is that extra?
Vendor man: No, salt is salt. The other is plain. Like white people.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie

Posted on March 16, 2015
Central Park, Food, Manhattan, Stupidity, Vendors & Street Performers, White People

Like They’re Afraid of a Crime Happening in a Primarily Black Neighborhood or Something

Black teen hipster #1: Why are there so many white people on the 2 train this late at night?
Black teen hipster #2: Please. All these white people are getting off at 96th Street.

Train stops at 96th. The white people leave the train.

Black Teen Hipster #2: Watch ’em all scamper away!

–2 train