This Cummerbund’s Really Shitty

Guy: Why are you wearing tuxedo pants?
Jon Stewart: I want to raise my baby formally. It’s black tie in the
house.

—Daily Show studios, 51st & 11th

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Posted on March 19, 2015
Celebrities Overheard, Fashion, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Parents

Wednesday One-liners for the Old

Girl: I think it’s “Alzheimer’s”; they’re old but it’s not “Oldsheimer’s”.

–57th and 3rd

Posted on March 18, 2015
Central Park, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, One-liners, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Lot’s Wife Had a Different View

Guy: I’ll have a pretzel.
Vendor man: What kind?
Guy: Plain.
Vendor man: No salt?
Guy: No. With salt.
Vendor man: Salt is not plain.
Guy: Okay, with salt. Is that extra?
Vendor man: No, salt is salt. The other is plain. Like white people.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie

Posted on March 16, 2015
Central Park, Food, Manhattan, Stupidity, Vendors & Street Performers, White People

Like They’re Afraid of a Crime Happening in a Primarily Black Neighborhood or Something

Black teen hipster #1: Why are there so many white people on the 2 train this late at night?
Black teen hipster #2: Please. All these white people are getting off at 96th Street.

Train stops at 96th. The white people leave the train.

Black Teen Hipster #2: Watch ’em all scamper away!

–2 train

Posted on March 15, 2015
Black People, Hipsters, History & Geography, Manhattan, NYC Geography, On the Subway, People, Places, Race, Teens, Topics, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People

They’re Undergoing Withdrawal from the Injections

Man: …so how’ve you been?
Woman: Been good, you know I’m done with bein’ bad.
Man: Nah, why’s that?
Woman: My thighs hurt.

–24th & Park

Overheard by: Kathryn Galloway

Posted on March 13, 2015
Body Parts, Manhattan, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Places

The Apron Strings were his Re-entry Vehicle

Buzz Aldrin’s wife: Every woman should control 75 to 90% of her husband’s life.

–Javits Center

Posted on March 13, 2015
Celebrities, Manhattan, Relationships

“Is PMS level okay?”

Old lady: Do you have any glue?
Cashier chick: Yeah, what kind?
Old lady: Do you have any crazy glue? Not Krazy Glue, just crazier than Elmer’s.

–Vim Drugs, West 181st Street

Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky

Posted on March 12, 2015
Harlem & Morningside Heights, Manhattan, Old People, Shopping, Stupidity

There’s Plenty of Amateur Farmers Around to Help

Girl #1: Oh my God, look at that lady.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Titty drip!
Girl #2: Oh my God. Go home and milk yourself.

–19th & 5th

Posted on March 12, 2015
Girls, Manhattan, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nipples, Parents, People, Places, Private Parts, Rack, Topics

What’s the Catch?

Chick #1: We can watch Lackawanna Blues tonight.
Chick #2: I can’t watch another black movie. I watched one last night.
Chick #1: What’d you watch last night?
Chick #2: Hitch.

–Office, Wall & William

Posted on March 11, 2015
Manhattan, Movies, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Pop Culture, Stupidity, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

I Can't Wait Not to Have One

Teenage girl #1: I heard something really awkward today, want to hear it?
Teenage girl #2: Okay.
Teenage girl #1: I heard that when you sneeze, you have one-eighth of an orgasm.
Teenage girl #2: Orgasms must be terrible.

–6th Ave

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on March 9, 2015
Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Orgasm, Sensory Experiences, Teens

Manhattan