Guy: And as I walked out the door I said to her, “One last thing – if your pussy is so good, why don’t you eat it yourself?”
–33rd & Park
Guy: And as I walked out the door I said to her, “One last thing – if your pussy is so good, why don’t you eat it yourself?”
–33rd & Park
Crazy lady: Where would we be without Mexicans? You are a very hard-working people.
Mexican, working the register, nods.
Crazy lady: All the time I see your people working.
Mexican nods.
Crazy lady: Like no other.
Mexican nods.
Crazy lady leaves.
Mexican, to no one in particular: Soy de El Salvador.
–Strokos Pizza
Overheard by: Injured List
Husband: How long were you running around with him?
Wife: It’s not your business.
Husband: It is. You don’t know how to behave. I have a crazy wife and I need to know if I should be with her or not. Think about it.
Translated from the Russian.
–Bleecker St. Station
NYU guy: I'm like a centaur, if ya know what I mean.
–University & 4th St
Overheard by: sarah
Female hipster to friends: Well, vampires are the new zombies!
–147th & Convent
Thuggish straight guy to another: Oh, I'd much rather be a faggot than a demon, dawg.
–Park Ave & Spring St
Overheard by: Christopher Schulz
Interviewer, trying to convince interviewee: There's not much of a future in being an elf.
–Macy's
Italian woman, staring at guy wearing Ghostbusters t-shirt: You donta lika da ghosts?
–Meatpacking District
Overheard by: Looking for my proton pack
Guy: Here’s to 5 inches or less!
Girl: …I really could take that the wrong way.
Guy: I’m talking about the storm!
–Whiskey River, 2nd Avenue
Woman: Yeah, trains come really slow this late. Sometimes you have to wait hours.
Woman’s friend: Yes, it’s all the groups of people who are drunk and fucked up out at this hour waiting for the train.
Drunk man: Yeah, that’s a pretty big group of people.
Woman: Those people need a leader.
Drunk man, shouting: I could be their leader!
–34th St station
Little girl: Mom, can I have some water?
Mom: Girl, don’t make me open my purse, you don’t know what’ll come out.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Michael
Guy #1: Look at that. His front arms are so small.
Guy #2: Why do you think he looks so angry? He couldn’t whack off.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Corey F
Guy #1: Cookies!
Girl: I don’t know if I want to bring in the cookies tomorrow; they’re so heavy.
Guy #2: You know what’s heavier? The guilt you’ll feel for disappointing us.
–The Strand
Girl: So I met a cute boy this weekend.
Queer: Oh really?
Girl: Well, I met him a year ago, but this weekend I really met him.
Queer: You met a cute boy this weekend that you’ve known for a year?
Girl: Yeah…
Queer: Oh. So you fucked him for the first time!
–Chelsea Market, 9th Avenue
Overheard by: Aria Grillo
