Guy #1: Look at that. His front arms are so small.
Guy #2: Why do you think he looks so angry? He couldn’t whack off.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Corey F
Guy #1: Look at that. His front arms are so small.
Guy #2: Why do you think he looks so angry? He couldn’t whack off.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Corey F
Guy #1: Cookies!
Girl: I don’t know if I want to bring in the cookies tomorrow; they’re so heavy.
Guy #2: You know what’s heavier? The guilt you’ll feel for disappointing us.
–The Strand
Girl: So I met a cute boy this weekend.
Queer: Oh really?
Girl: Well, I met him a year ago, but this weekend I really met him.
Queer: You met a cute boy this weekend that you’ve known for a year?
Girl: Yeah…
Queer: Oh. So you fucked him for the first time!
–Chelsea Market, 9th Avenue
Overheard by: Aria Grillo
Girl: Is the turkey club lunchmeat or carved turkey?
Waiter: Lunchmeat.
Girl: Great. I’ll take it.
Waiter: You can eat it whenever…in the morning, lunch…
Girl: Never mind, just gimme a minute.
–Morning Star, 9th Avenue
Overheard by: LJ
Old lady # 1, crossing the street: Will you help me?
Old lady # 2: Yeah, yeah — I’ll help you.
Old lady # 1: I am very drunk.
Old lady # 2: Yeah, I drank a lot, too.
–78th & York
Overheard by: I hope I’m still getting drunk when I’m that old
Guy: The thing about Cronenberg is that you have to appreciate him in
context to what he does…which is often unappreciable.
–Belmont Lounge, East 15th Street
Very large man, pointing at a McDonald’s: Where were you last night at 3 a.m. when I was craving you?
–49th & 9th
Man wearing an “I Heart My Heart” shirt, to guy eating fast food: You’re just aching for that heart attack, aren’t you?
–46th & Broadway
Angry burger flipper: Making Big Macs is complex. It’s 2 all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun…And then it gets even more confusing, ’cause people all have their special requests, like no special sauce. And that just throws shit off. The Whopper is so easy. It don’t have shit on us.
–M11 bus
Asian girl, screaming into cell: I said, “Quiero Taco Bell!”
–33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Kelsey
Foreign tourist to cabbie: How much to go to K…F…C?
–Broadway between 38th & 39th
Overheard by: Gregorio
Old man: Enjoy your looks while you still have them.
Girl: Oh, we’ve got a long time before we have to start worrying.
Old man: No, you don’t. Just remember: men age, women rot.
–12th & B
Fashion queer #1: I wish the new Apple store sold food.
Fashion queer #2: They should sell food — then it would be, like, one-stop-shopping on our lunch hour.
–Elevator, 5th & 59th
Overheard by: Lubes
Girl: …because I feel like we’re going out. It’s just that he won’t call me.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, E 14th St
Overheard by: MK
Homegirl to boyfriend: No, no, that’s not what I said, that’s what you heard.
–1st & Ave B
Overheard by: Mollena
Girl: In the last few years, every time I go away to Paris with someone, I end up breaking up with them.
–San Loco, 7th St & 2nd Ave
B&T girl #1 to B&T girl #2: If you lived in NYC, you’d totally find a boyfriend. You totally, totally would.
–LIRR to Penn Station
Overheard by: Pia Peanutbuttas
Sassy chick: I was having a glass of wine with him, and he didn’t have anything to say to me. So I licked his ear.
–Harlem
Overheard by: McN
Shrewd observer: That’s not dating. It’s called being on parole.
–West Building, Hunter College
Woman on cell: Well, I happen to like our Goddamn relationship, thank you very much!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Mike
