Girl: Guys, I saw a doppelganger for Justin Case today!
Guy: Yeah me too, his name is Justin Time.
–Virgin, Union Square
Girl: Guys, I saw a doppelganger for Justin Case today!
Guy: Yeah me too, his name is Justin Time.
–Virgin, Union Square
Yuppie lady: When all is said and done, I was drunk in Banana Republic…
–51st & Lexington
Overheard by: Karen Adverb
Jock #1: Mine is five inches!
Jock #2: Hah! I got you beat! Mine is about four inches.
Jock #3: Yeah? Well, I beat both you dudes. Mine is only two inches!
–W 112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Christopher Stone
Teen ghetto chick: How many niggas was they? Like twelve? Do not tell James this shit, do not, ’cause he will be all ovah their asses and after he beat up the Snapple man and got arrested, he needs to stay away from that shit.
–Downtown A train, 145th st
Overheard by: brainygirl
Girl #1: Okay, I got it! We should all do coke for Melissa’s birthday!
Long pause.
Girl #2: Uhhhh, no.
Girl #1: I meant that as a joke…ehhh, I think. I mean who would actually suggest that? [under her breath] Awww, damn.
–Columbia
Attractive blonde: I’m going to have a cigarette.
Boyfriend: I thought you quit!
Blonde: I did, but I haven’t had one in a really long time.
Boyfriend: Um, isn’t that what quitting means?
Blonde: Whatever. I quit. I’m having one.
–44th & 9th
Overheard by: SecondHandSteve
Suburbanite guy: I was in this relationship for, like, eight months. We were in the same, like, mental place, y’know, like we were both so gay, like “Oh, I love you, I love you.”
Suburbanite chick: Wait, gay?
Suburbanite guy: Y’know, like, corny.
–Metro-North train
Overheard by: Pitr
Dancer chick into cell: City Ballet? [to dancer guy] City Ballet.
Both dancers crack up.
Dancer chick into cell: You would! You City Ballet whore!
–67th & Columbus
Guy: And as I walked out the door I said to her, “One last thing – if your pussy is so good, why don’t you eat it yourself?”
–33rd & Park
Crazy lady: Where would we be without Mexicans? You are a very hard-working people.
Mexican, working the register, nods.
Crazy lady: All the time I see your people working.
Mexican nods.
Crazy lady: Like no other.
Mexican nods.
Crazy lady leaves.
Mexican, to no one in particular: Soy de El Salvador.
–Strokos Pizza
Overheard by: Injured List
