Manhattan

Woman: So ummm, what do you think about this painting?
Man: I can’t believe you said I kiss exactly like my brother!
Woman: I love Monet, he uses such vivid colors…
Man: Yuck, now it feels like I’ve kissed my brother as well!

–The Met

Tween girl: It so smells like London out today.
Hippie chick: What does London smell like?
Tween girl: Really damp.

–10th St & Greenwich

Overheard by: Intimidated by children

For those of you into voyeurism and candor, the website Double Agent is based on the premise of “women spying on women for men.” We asked the guys over there for some recommendations of their work, and these fly-on-the-wall video clips are what they came up with: 1, 2, 3, 4. Enjoy!

Black lady: I don’t eat fried food. Grease is the enemy. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I wanted fried food all the time. This one day, I left work to go eat some fried fish, and I ate it. And I stayed there. And you know what happened? The grease came up and the fish stayed down.

–Precious Nails, 94th & 3rd

Suit #1 to suit #2: We can do whatever you want today. I just don’t like the stuff you make me do that makes me throw up.

–AJ Maxwell’s, 48th & 6th

Overheard by: their waitress

Tourist lady: Can I get an all day subway pass?
Token booth guy: Sure, $7.
Tourist lady: How long will that last?

–Times Square station

Overheard by: Jeff McCrum

Girl on cell: I’m on 42nd, where are you? Yeah, the place is on 46th. Where are you again? No, I will not walk down to 33rd just to meet your cunty face and walk with you to 46th…meet me here. Just go straight! You’re not blind, you fucking liar…oh, Christ, there is no such thing as stress blindness…I hope you get hit by a car.

–42nd & 7th

Overheard by: Ria Vergara

Bling bling guy: It’s all real baby! It’s all real! You wanna see it? It’s all real! Maybe when you get some of your own, then you’ll know. It’s all real! Take a look!… I think I freaked her out, callin’ her out like that.

–Whitehall Street station

Drunk guy #1: Let’s start the East Village Fight Club.
Drunk guy #2: I’m in.
Drunk guy #1: The only rule of this particular fight club is you have to let your victim know you are beating the crap out of them for being too hip.

–7B, Avenue B

Girl: Forget it, I’m taking these off.
Guy: Why, baby? Let me see ’em.
Girl: No, they make my butt look like a white person’s ass.
Guy: What’s that?
Girl: They make my ass look flat like a white person’s!
Guy: Baby, I can’t hear you.

–Wet Seal, Manhattan Mall

Overheard by: E-Bar