Now She’s Brown and Gray-ish

Fordham girl #1: Is your miniature poodle white?
Fordham guy #2: No, she’s dead. But yeah, she was white.

–60th & Columbus

Posted on May 23, 2015
Animals & Nature, College, Death, Fordham, Man's Best Friend, Manhattan, Places, Topics, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

My Son is an Honor Student…and a Vandal!

Suit #1: …so he’s got one hand on the car’s aerial, and with the other hand he’s punching a four inch by eight inch dent in the car, while running alongside. At this point it becomes destruction of property.
Suit #2: And that’s when the campus police got involved?

–52nd & 6th

Overheard by: Meredith

Posted on May 22, 2015
Cars and Driving, College, Cops, Crime and Punishment, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Places, Stab, Suits, Topics, Violence

There’s a Going Down Payment

Queer #1: It’s too bad he’s not for sale.
Queer #2: I think you can rent him, though.

–BoConcept, West 18th Street

Posted on May 17, 2015
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Manhattan, Queers, Retail Therapy, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Shopping

Bad Things Happen When You Teach Evolution

Guido #1: Tuna is not made from dolphins, bro.
Guido #2: I’m telling you, tuna fish is made from dolphins.
Guido #1: No way, bro, tuna are not dolphins!
Guido #2: Then what are they?
Guido #1: They’re…chicken of the sea.

–9th St. Path Station

Overheard by: Kevin M

Posted on May 17, 2015
Food, Manhattan, Pop Culture, The Village

Taking Anti-Authoritarian a Step Too Far

Skater kid #1: I don’t like this whole “valet” thing, man.
Skater kid #2: You don’t trust them?
Skater kid #1: I DON’T TRUST ANYONE!

–8th St & 6th Ave

Posted on May 15, 2015
Manhattan, Teens, The Village

Wednesday One-liners for Adoptionists

Crazy woman: I’m still alive and breathing, thank you very much, despite the best efforts of the Devil.

–Food Court, Grand Central

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Posted on May 15, 2015
Anger Management, Astoria, Brooklyn, Crime and Punishment, Death, Drinking & Drunk People, Drugs, Friendship, Manhattan, Old People, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Queens, Religion, Restaurants & Cafes, Should've Used a Condom, Teens, Tourist Attractions, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence

Multitasking, the Next Level

Guy in line to pay, on cell: Hi. I’m calling to say I want a divorce. I keep calling and calling, and leaving messages, and sending you texts, but you never get back to me. So I guess this is it. I’m going to have papers drawn up unless you call me back. Okay, bye.

–J&R Computer Store, Park Row

Overheard by: Just trying to buy a PSP case

Posted on May 14, 2015
Manhattan, Marriage, On Cell, Relationships, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

What If I Get a Long Identifying Number on My Forearm?

Guy: So you don’t think neck tattoos are sexy?
Girl: No.
Guy: What do they make you think of?
Girl: Prison.
Guy: What if I get my name in Hebrew?
Girl: Jewish prison.

–10th & Ave B

Overheard by: Trying not to laugh