Mom: Where’s your shoe?
Little boy: I don’t know.
Mom: Where did you lose your shoe? You can’t just lose your shoe. How can you keep walking around after you lost your shoe without noticing it? Where did you lose your shoe? You’re crazy.
–34th & 7th
Mom: Where’s your shoe?
Little boy: I don’t know.
Mom: Where did you lose your shoe? You can’t just lose your shoe. How can you keep walking around after you lost your shoe without noticing it? Where did you lose your shoe? You’re crazy.
–34th & 7th
Mom, about man on train with flowers: Awww, he has flowers. They’re probably for his girlfriend.
Eight-year-old daughter: Mom, you never know! They could be for a boy.
–LIRR
11-year-old boy smiling mischievously: Mom, I’ve been desiring a lot lately.
Frazzled UES mom: Would you please stop doing that?
–80th & York
Overheard by: Nicole
Toddler in stroller: I… Want… Ball!
Young mother: Oh, like you’ve been good and now you deserve a ball? Are you kidding me?
–Duane Reade, 8th & Broadway
Jamaican nanny on cell: Girl, I just got back from a four day vacation. Where? My bed. We fucked nonstop for four days like dogs. I couldn’t even get out to take a shit.
Mother: Excuse me, there are children around.
Jamaican nanny: Fuck the children!
–Food Emporium, UWS
Overheard by: Dan
Three-year-old girl, creeping toward pigeon: Woof! Woof!
Mom: Maya! What are you doing?
Three-year-old girl: Woof! Woof, woof!
Mom: Maya, that’s not a dog, it’s a bird… And birds don’t bark.
–Sakura Park
Overheard by: eating my ziti
Four-year-old boy: There are too many people on the train. Someone needs to get off.
Mom: Who needs to get off?
Four-year-old boy: Us!
–A train
Overheard by: otilio
Little boy: Mommy! Mommy! Can we make our own baby tomorrow?
Flustered mom: What? No. What are you talking about?
Little boy: Can we make a baby? Please! Can we please make a baby?
Flustered mom: We’re not making a baby. Not tomorrow or any other day. No more babies. Ever.
–Century 21
Nine-year-old boy: Mom, are we done?
Mom: Yes, we just need to check out.
Nine-year-old boy: Yeah! We’re done! D-u-n, done!
–Duane Reade, 33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: themelancholydane
Little girl: You’re the most beautiful girl in the whole world! [Mom smiles.] You are.
Mom: I think you’re the most beautiful girl in the whole world.
Little girl: Only to you.
Mom, holding up girl’s art project: Actually, I think she’s the most beautiful girl in the whole world.
Little girl: No! She’s a princess bird-fish!
–F train
Overheard by: Actually, I’M the most beautiful girl in the world
