Offers and requests

Woman: C’mon, please move into the train.
Guy: Would you like to crawl into my asshole?

–1 train, 34th Street station

HS guy: Would you like to buy a bag of M&M’s to support our basketball team?
Chick: Sorry.
HS guy: Come on, just one bag, we’re raising funds for our team–
Chick: Sorry. I’m sorry.
HS guy: “Sorry”, what is that, “sorry”? Why don’t you just say “no” if you mean no? Why don’t you just say “no“?

–13th & Broadway

Overheard by: Lily

Yuppie man #1: Hey, John is going to be in town tomorrow night, we’re all going to go out
Yuppie man #2: Oh shit, I can’t go. I’ve got a date tomorrow night.
Yuppie man #1: What? Are you serious? Fuck the date, man.
Yuppie man #2: No, yeah. I know, that’s exactly what I got to do.

–Riviera Cafe and Sports Bar, W. 4th Street

Drunk girl: I need to put on lipstick.
Sober guy: Why?
Drunk girl: Because I have a guy coming to see me…he has hair and is taller than me.

–56th & 9th

Guy on cell: I don’t want your money, just the rights to your son.

–44th & 5th

Overheard by: Anonymous