Is That a “Yes” on Hiring Her?

Man to friend: She makes me want to cheat on my wife in front of my wife.

Exchange Place, New Jersey

Overheard by: John

Posted on August 30, 2022
Friends, Infidelity, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Stupidity, Wishes

In One Of Those Containers That’s Like a Bowl, but It Has a Handle

Customer: Do you have any tea that’s like coffee only it isn’t caffeinated like coffee… But it tastes like coffee?
Barista: Uh, you mean decaf coffee?
Customer: Yes! That’s exactly what I want. I’ll have a decaf coffee.

Red Brick Coffee Pub
Guelph
Ontario, Canadia

Posted on August 25, 2022
Baristas, Bars & Clubs, Canadia, Customers, Default, Food, Offers and requests, Stupidity

And Let’s Get Some Chewing Tobacco to Spit

Girl, to two guys smoking in a bar: Oh my gosh! Smoking? Gross! (walks away, disgusted)
Guy #1: You wanna follow her and smoke?
Guy #2: Hell yeah, I do.

Denver, Colorado

Posted on August 4, 2022
Colorado, Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Smoking, Wishes

The Long-Awaited Follow-up to “My Humps”

Little girl #1 (holding a Patrick Star toy): Mommy, mommy! Can I get this?
Scary mom: No.
Little girl #1: Why?
Scary mom: Because last time we bought one of those was the day you had your seizure.
Little girl #1 (running around the store and flapping her arms): My seizure, my seizure!
Little girl #2 (also running and flapping): Your seizure, your seizure!

Kings Island, Ohio

Posted on July 20, 2022
Default, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Maladies, Moms, Offers and requests, Ohio, Questions, Weirdness

And You Thought Picking Up Girls at Funerals Was Bad

Girlfriend on packed, stopped train: I'm bored. Tell me a story.
Boyfriend: I remember the first time I saw you…you were crying…sitting outside the abortion clinic. I gave you my hankie.

Yellow Train
Washington, DC

Overheard by: entertained next to them

Posted on July 15, 2022
Abortion, Couples, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Memory lane, Offers and requests, Relationships, Train, Washington, DC, Weirdness

The Casino?

Volleyball girl: How come you have a painting of a football helmet on the wall but nothing for us?
Athletic trainer: I don't know. Maybe I'll paint something for you guys.
Volleyball girl: Yeah! You should paint a whole mirage!

Gustavus Adolphus College
Minnesota

Posted on July 11, 2022
Gifts, Girls, Minnesota, Offers and requests, Questions, Teachers

Unfortunately My Trail Of Breadcrumbs Is Hard to See in the Snow

Pilot over PA, after taxiing to the gate for ten minutes: Let me know if you guys see something that looks like an airport.

Denver International Airport
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: they're not kidding about being the country's biggest airport

Posted on July 4, 2022
Airports & flights, Colorado, Default, Offers and requests, Pilots, Public transportation

Have You Tried Looking for It with GPS?

Fat girl filling out paperwork: Did I have any problems with my pregnancy? No. Well…I lost the baby…
Asian friend: Oh, well…just put “no.”

Planned Parenthood
San Diego, California

Overheard by: CINDI

Posted on June 30, 2022
Asians, California, Default, Family ties, Friends, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions, Words

Is It Too Late to Start Over?

Customer: Do you sell Elastoplast?
Shop lady: What?
Customer: Do you sell Elastoplast?
Shop lady oh, I thought you said something about “the last of the Apaches.”
Customer: That film was called The Last of the Mohicans.
Shop lady: What film?

Glasgow
Scotland

Overheard by: somedaftlassie

Posted on June 26, 2022
Clients, Employees, Movies, Offers and requests, Questions, Scotland, Shopping, Stores, Words

I'm Not Proud of My Addiction

Male student: I like your Skittles.
Female student: Don't look at them!

Eveleth, Minnesota

Overheard by: deathmap

Posted on June 1, 2022
Candy, Compliments, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Minnesota, Offers and requests, Students

Offers and requests