Hobo: Excuse me, this is a picture of my daughter Sofiya, she was in a fire recently and now she is brain damage can you spare some change so that we can give her a proper funeral? Anything will help, even a penny.
Man: Wait a minute! Is this the same daughter that was in a fire last summer? You mean to tell me you haven’t buried her yet?
–4 train
Overheard by: Leslie DJ
Little boy: Dad, will you remember me tomorrow?
Dad: Of course.
Little boy: Will you remember me next week?
Dad: Yes.
Little boy: Next month?
Dad: Yup.
Little boy: Next year? Two years? Three years?
Dad. Yes, yes and yes.
Little boy: …Knock, knock.
Dad: Who’s there?
Little boy: Aw, man! You forgot me already!
–1 train
Overheard by: Kathleen
Guy #1: So I had ex sex last night.
Guy #2: How was it?
Guy #1: Amazing as always, but now I’m fucked cause she’s gonna start calling me again.
Guy #2: Imagine that, you sleep with someone and then they call you…Crazy.
–1 train
Bag lady: Could someone spare some change? My welfare was denied.
Crazy lady: Yeah, yeah, they denied mine the first time too. Get over it.
Man: Does anyone know how to get to–
Crazy lady: They aren’t listening, they aren’t going to talk to you. They can’t talk. They are all mute.
–F train
Guy #1: We goin’ uptown or downtown?
Guy #2: Nigga, we goin’ sideways.
–L train
Girl: I went to Boston this weekend. Mostly just to avoid the L train.
–Williamsburg
Guy: I can’t believe I was cockblocked by the L train.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Chelsea Miller
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I ran away once, ’cause like, my parents were making me study for a science test.
Teen girl #2: Oh my god, you so don’t have any problems. My parents are making me get a job!
Teen boy: Not having money to buy food is a problem. Not having an apartment is a problem.
–F train
Teen boy: Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, my name is Dwayne and I am in a program that keeps me and other kids like me off the street. They have us sell candy for $1. All profits go directly to the youth program that keeps us off the street. If you would like to purchase Snickers, Twix or Starburst, they are only $1.
Hobo: Hey, lady! Hey, fat lady! Buy some candy. You like candy, don’t you? Fat lady! Get some candy! Get some!
Lady: Asshole.
–6 train
Overheard by: Lydia M
Hobo: Hold the train! I’m just going to go get some sugar for my coffee!
–C train
Overheard by: Jenn B
Hobo: I need some money to buy food. Please help a brother out with any change you have.
Little girl: Hey mister, you were just in here.
Hobo: No, I wasn’t. All homeless people don’t look the same, you know!
Little girl: But you all dress the same.
–E train
Overheard by: Nina
Hipster girl #1: So you’re still writing songs and performing?
Hipster girl #2: Uh huh.
Hipster girl #1: And you’re also acting, right? And modeling too?
Hipster girl #2: Yeah.
Hipster girl #1: Which would you say you’re most passionate about?
Hipster girl #2: I guess I’d have to say the modeling.
–A train
Overheard by: Ayana
Chick: You’ve had the greatest sex with me. Right?
Guy: Yeah. I guess…
–Hi-Life, 83rd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Hilla
