Vendor guy: I got so much dirt under my nails, you’d think I was a crackhead.
–Fulton Mall
Overheard by: Black Girl Superstar
Vendor guy: I got so much dirt under my nails, you’d think I was a crackhead.
–Fulton Mall
Overheard by: Black Girl Superstar
Crazy guy: Only God lives forever! You do not understand!
Drunk girl: Sir, would you like a balloon?
Crazy guy: Those balloons are beautiful. You keep them…Only God lives forever! You white people do not understand!
–N train
Overheard by: Lee
Guy: So why don’t you give it to a cause you believe in? What are you really into?
Girl: Chillin’ hard.
Guy: Okay, so why don’t you use it for studio time and then give the rest to a charity?
Girl: Well, I just figure when I get old and have schizophrenia and multiple sclerosis and Alzheimer’s I can like afford to send myself to a really nice crazy hospital, you know?
Girl: Definitely.
–A train
Teen boy #1: Don’t worry, I’ve been taking the 7 train since I was 5.
Teen boy #2: How old are you now?
Teen boy #1: 17.
Teen boy #2: So you’ve been taking the 7 train from…8 years ago?
Teen boy #1: Naw, man. 8 yrs ago I was 10.
–7 train
Overheard by: Jenn Hue
Guy: Hey, have you ever been to Alcoholics Anonymous?
Girl: No, I’ve never been to a triple-A meeting.
Guy: No dumbass, it’s AA for Alcoholics Anonymous.
Girl: Oh, yeah? Well what does AAA stand for?
Guy: Association…of…American…no, wait…Automobiles? Fuck, I don’t know. It’s for cars, stupid.
–E train
Overheard by: Dan & John
A guy walking down the steps slips but manages to catch himself.
Guy #2: Nice recovery.
Guy #1: Easier than rehab!
–22nd & 9th
Overheard by: Ari Fleischer
Teen boy: Didn’t you know those iPod headphones are bad for you?
Teen girl: No, they’re not.
Teen boy: Uh huh. Look in your manual. It says to throw them away as soon as you buy them.
–F train
Overheard by: sarah kauffman
Tourist lady: Um, I have a non-train related question.
MTA guy: What?
Tourist lady: Is there a nice place to get some coffee or tea around here?
MTA guy: Yeah, outside.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: rod vanderlaan
Announcement: Please be nice going on and off the escalators.
–Smith-9th Streets station
Overheard by: Fulcanelli
Girl #1: I don’t understand why they gotta say “How you doin'” and “Have a nice day.”
Girl #2: They’re trying to be nice, stupid.
–KFC, 125th & 7th
Overheard by: Edwina P. Garza
Guy #1: …he always wears the cheapest clothes but always has the most expensive sneakers!
Guy #2: Yo, white people bug me. They always wear crappy clothes, they be wearing green shirts, brown shirts…
Girl: But they always have nice cars, houses, they go on nice vacations. I’d rather wear cheap clothes and have a nice house and go on nice vacations.
Guy #1: You’re missing the point!
–N train
Overheard by: tanechka
Girl: Jesus, bitch, why you gotta be with that Verizon? They got no text message plan, I ain’t paying no ten dollars a month for no texting, you gotta go with Cingular, bitch, then you don’t gotta pay nothing and you get, like, what the fuck, a much bigger phone selection too and none of that extra charges bullshit, and–god, bitch, why you gotta talk so loud? We all don’t need to hear all about your life, so you still live with your ex-boyfriend, you think I care? Just no need for you to talk so loud, god!–So anyway, and Vonage, that shit is stupid, too. The hell kind of name is that anyway? Vahn-ahge…
–F train
Overheard by: Dormant Gorilla
Guy #1: So this Jack guy is basically the luckiest man in the world.
Guy #2: Why, because he’s survived like 5 attempts on his life and it’s not even noon?
Guy #1: No; he could totally nail those two chicks.
–6 train
