Bus driver, swinging door open: If you ain’t good-lookin’, y’all ain’t gettin’ on my bus! [Girls outside stare.] I said, if you ain’t good-lookin’, you ain’t gettin’ on board!
Girl, slowly taking step: Well… I’m getting on this bus…
Bus driver: That’s right! That’s right! ‘Cause you good-lookin’! Get your ass in here!
–Fort Tryon Park
Overheard by: specialK
Tourist guy with big camera: Can I take your picture?
Young woman sitting on a bench, reading: Sure.
Tourist guy: Can I get a smile?
Young woman: Um, no.
–City Hall Park
Three-year-old girl, creeping toward pigeon: Woof! Woof!
Mom: Maya! What are you doing?
Three-year-old girl: Woof! Woof, woof!
Mom: Maya, that’s not a dog, it’s a bird… And birds don’t bark.
–Sakura Park
Overheard by: eating my ziti
Junkie girl: Hey… Can you watch my stuff? My friend is overdosing.
Drunk guy: Ummm, I guess…
Junkie girl: There’s a can of beans in it for you.
Drunk guy: Do you have a can opener?
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: C
Hot dog vendor: How you like it?
Tourist: Just ketchup, please.
Hot dog vendor: You not like New York style?
Tourist: Sure, but not today.
Hot dog vendor, reluctantly handing over dog: I think you make very big mistake today, sir, and every day, too.
–Battery Park
Headline by: fru
Runners-Up:
· “Just Guessing by That Izod Shirt You Are Wearing” – anne nahm
· “New York Style Always Leaves Me A Little Sore Thanks” – Uulargh of the Prairie
· “New York Style Means the Attitude’s Free” – Christine
· “New York Style? How Do They Fit ‘Fuck You’ In A Bun?” – Taylor
· “New York Style: Mustard, Sauerkraut, Judgement” – kimathi
· “Street Meat, the Best Population Control Money Can Buy.” – Chance
Hobo #1: Hey, that cell phone you sold me — that’s a crackhead cell phone! I want my money back! You sold me a crackhead phone!
Hobo #2: What do you expect? I’m a crackhead.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: annulla
Teen girl: Did you know it’s not Brooklyn-Queens Day anymore? Now all of the city gets off from school.
Little brother: It’s because the other boroughs got jealous.
–Alley Pond Park, Queens
Overheard by: Rebecca
Old guy: Oh, look at this doggie. Who is this?
Cute girl: This is Nola.
Old guy: Lola?
Cute girl: Nola.
Old guy: Lola?
Cute girl: Nola with an N.
Old guy: M-and-M’s?
Cute girl: Nola.
Old guy, singing: Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl…
–72nd & Columbus
Overheard by: glad i’m not old
Kid: Will we get to walk single file in the woods?
Parent: The path gets pretty narrow — we might have to.
Kid: Yes!
–Prospect Park
Little boy: Mom, how did the dinosaurs cook their meat?
Mother: They didn’t, they ate it raw.
Little boy: Oh. [Long pause.] Are Japanese people dinosaurs?
–Astoria Park
