Young male suit, about colleague getting married and moving: It's like she's taking this huge dive…
Young female suit: Off the high dive, into the shallow end.
–Hanover Square
Overheard by: anonanonanon
Young male suit, about colleague getting married and moving: It's like she's taking this huge dive…
Young female suit: Off the high dive, into the shallow end.
–Hanover Square
Overheard by: anonanonanon
One Hispanic lady to another: How you gonna give a kid with stinky feet Botox?
–R Train
Overheard by: Ferna
Smelly granola girl on cell: I dunno, maybe Wilco is too big to have an opening act. The show was, like, two days ago. (stops, sniffs armpit and winces) Fuck, I need a serious shower. I haven't been home since the show. Doesn't that suck? When you forget to clean up after a few days? (laughs to herself)
–McCarren Park
Overheard by: AleKatz
Woman on cell: It smells like college!
–BrewFest, South Street Seaport
Office student: It literally smells like my ass.
–CCNY Computer Lab
Girl: Nigga, you smell like the crack in my titties.
–Q Train
Dude on cell: Man, she came six times last night. It was crazy! (pause) We were soaking wet, but I didn't mind. It was nice to see her enjoying it. (pause) No, it didn't smell. It didn't smell like anything.
–Union Square
Overheard by: who are these people?
One-armed cracked-out dude to equally cracked-out girlfriend: And he's lookin' at me like he ain't never seen nobody stealin' before!
–Maria Hernandez Park, Bushwick
Overheard by: matthias
Drunk man to random girl on street: I mean, I stole this girls' shoelaces, and then she got really mad at me…
–2nd Ave & 4th St
Comedy show peddler: Who wants to buy some stolen shit? (pause) Nah, just kidding, who wants to see a comedy show?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ali
Woman with pink hair to friend: Fuck that bitch, she still stole my clothes when I was in jail.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Renny
Man to woman, about his father: Yeah, he was so great, so smart… A drug addict. He was always there for me. Like, if I needed something, anything, he'd go steal it for me. That's what sticks with you, you know?
–1 Train
Overheard by: RDM
Drunk girl: I just love a cock in my mouth! It is a fact of my life, like Blair and Tootie. I want to be carnivorous. I will eat fish if it's the only thing on the menu, but I really just want some meat! I'm not fishiverous!
–Party, Ditmars Boulevard, Astoria
Overheard by: likes steak AND seafood
Girl to friend: Surely if she was ever in possession of a penis, then on merit she would inherit the family lobster farm?
–28th & 7th
Ginger: Garibaldi… That is so weird. That is the name of the California state fish. I wonder if the statue is named after the fish.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: camillo cavour
Man to wife: That's too much calamari, even for a homeless guy.
–East Village
Nerdy chick: Yeah, but when it comes to in-tangible objects, he’s really irresponsible.
–Fort Tryon Park
Stylish 20-something woman to overweight pug breathing heavily: Well, Winifred, you're out of breath because you're out of shape. (pause) No, you're not fat. You're voluminous. (pause) Yes, I am aware it's not all your fault. Mummy likes to watch you eat powder doughnuts. (pause) Pugs that look like they have a coke habit are very funny for mummy, yes they are.
–Central Park
Young hipster to Labrador, as people approach: Come on! Come on! Say hello! (dog remains seated, doing nothing) God! I've been training him for months to talk to couples and it just isn't working!
–Williamsburg
Woman to her dog: Don't be an insult to your species! Act like a dog!
–10th St & Broadway
Lady to little barking dog: Shut up. This is not your sidewalk.
–Brooklyn
Chubby brown haired tween: Give me another hug!
Pretty blonde tween friend, shouting to a different friend: Melanie!
Chubby brown haired tween: I need another hug!
Pretty blonde tween friend, shouting to a different friend: Melanie!
–John Jay Park, Upper East Side
Overheard by: justwalkinthedog
Thuggette: She just went in there to scoop her vagina out and then she came back.
–Hudson River Park
Teenage girl on cell: Yeah, I got a Brazilian wax for the first time yesterday. And now I'm afraid of the power of my own vagina.
–1 Train
Overheard by: westchester girl
Adorable little girl: I was born in 2002, from my mom's vagina.
–New York Harbor
Overheard by: Barry P.
Man to woman: Ohhhh, is she the one with maggots in her vagina?
–51st & 9th
Overheard by: Highstein
Chick on cell: Tell her to put that in her pipe and smoke it. Or even better, in her vagina. (sarcastically) Ooh, penetration!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Poogins
Very large black man: My penis' jus' as impo-tant as her vagina.
Small meek white man: (nods in agreement or fear)
–A Train
Mom: Come here, put on your coat.
Little girl: I don’t wanna wear that stupid coat.
Mom: Hey, be nice. Be a good little girl. It’s cold as a bitch’s ass out here…you need your coat.
–Pierrepont Playground, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: iiams
Astoria girl #1: Ohmigod! I'm going to dinner with my hot guy friend tonight! His picture is on Facebook, I'll show you!
(shows friend photo)
Astoria girl #2: Oh, I know him, I used to have sex with his roommate!
–Astoria Park
