Earnest toddler in stroller, pointing at gorilla: Nuula blujunbabalooo.
Babysitter: Seriously?
Earnest toddler: Yeah!
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Olivia
Earnest toddler in stroller, pointing at gorilla: Nuula blujunbabalooo.
Babysitter: Seriously?
Earnest toddler: Yeah!
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Olivia
Sulky waitress at family restaurant, complaining about management: I could be home right now having a threesome, but Chris won't let me leave.
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Inkling
35-year-old camp Asian man on cell: Yo, girl! (pause) Hell no, I have no idea what shit went down last night. (pause) Oh-em-gee! All I know is I woke up with five guys.
–R Train
Overheard by: Abby and Holly
20-something college boy: I mean, there's no "I" in "threesome."
–Union Square
Guy to his friends: Yeah, I haven't decided what guy I would tag-team a girl with yet.
–Hairy Monk, 25th & 3rd
African American guy to hipster girl: It was the worst orgy I've ever been to. Nothing but kids and clothes everywhere you looked.
–48th St & Broadway
Overheard by: RevLina, The Pain-Proof Girl
Hipster chick with "valley girl" accent: Ya, like, ohmigod, ewwwwww… So I was reading Cosmo, and like, there was this story, about like, guys' confessions, you know? And like, this random guy actually said, like, "Sometimes, I rub my dick on my cat's fur, and it feels good."
–Washington Square Park
10-year-old girl to another: I bet his idea of a hot girl is the crazy cat lady across the street.
–34th St, Astoria
Overheard by: Samantha
Woman to another: I have a friend in Belgium now–we both have cats!
–One World Financial Center
Overheard by: macgeekgrl
Brunette on phone: Do you want to play with your cat or do you want to play with me?
–60th St b/w Park & Madison
Overheard by: Adam B.
20-something on cell: And when I woke up, I had no idea where I was. Then I realized I was spooning his cat.
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: J Cox
Little boy #1, on field trip: I have to pee!
Little boy #2: I have to pee too!
Teacher: We'll be near a bathroom soon.
Little girl: Boys don't need potties! Only girls need potties!
–Central Park
Mother, after listening to child talking nonstop: You are so bizarre.
Six-year-old boy, seriously: I eat bugs.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Good to Know
Five-year-old girl pissing behind tree to mother trying to talk to elderly man with dog: Look mommy! Look! I'm making a pee-pee behind the tree.
Mother: Yes, sweetie, that's very nice. (returns to conversation with man)
Girl: Mommy! I'm still peeing! I'm still peeing!
Mother: Uh-huh. Well, pull your pants up when you're done.
Girl: Mommy, there's a squirrel! Hi, squirrel!
Old man: Careful! They have rabies and they'll eat you!
Girl, running towards mother with no pants: Aaaaaah!
–Riverside Park
20-something girl in floral dress #1: I know! I was just like, “stick it in my ass already!”
20-something girl in floral dress #2: I know, right?
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Overheard by: The Boss
Dog owner to another: Dogs are funny. They're like little retarded kids.
–Tompkins Square Park Dog Run
Guy on cell: She went from Debbie downer to Debbie Down Syndrome.
–62nd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Timo Lipping
Dad: I thought she would like Carolina, so we took her to see four schools there. I asked her if she liked them and she said, "I liked the schools… But everyone there seemed slightly retarded."
–W 54th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Johnny V.
Southern woman who just ran NYC marathon to Southern friend: Well, we can't have a baby now because it would be retarded… because I'm 35, you know?
–Becco Restaurant, Theater District
Overheard by: mersayseh
Seven-year-old girl: I’m going to see a movie this weekend. Can anyone guess what I’m going to see?
Seven-year-old boy: Ratatouille! I already saw it.
Seven-year-old girl: Yeah, I’m going to go see Ratatouille this weekend.
Seven-year-old boy: Yeah, I already saw it. And there’s this one part — yuck — you don’t want to see it. It’s bad, you really don’t want to see that part — it’s gross. [Whispers it to another kid.]Seven-year-old girl: What? Is there kissing? I can see kissing… If you think I’ve never seen kissing before, there’s kissing in every other movie I have ever seen in my life!
–Bleecker St playground
Frustrated woman laying out: Actually, no, he didn't say he would call me, he said he would “ring” me.
Indignant friend: What an asshole! Like seriously, you're not British!
–Sheep Meadow
Overheard by: Henry Higgins
