Chubby brown haired tween: Give me another hug!
Pretty blonde tween friend, shouting to a different friend: Melanie!
Chubby brown haired tween: I need another hug!
Pretty blonde tween friend, shouting to a different friend: Melanie!

–John Jay Park, Upper East Side

Overheard by: justwalkinthedog

Thuggette: She just went in there to scoop her vagina out and then she came back.

–Hudson River Park

Teenage girl on cell: Yeah, I got a Brazilian wax for the first time yesterday. And now I’m afraid of the power of my own vagina.

–1 Train

Overheard by: westchester girl

Adorable little girl: I was born in 2002, from my mom’s vagina.

–New York Harbor

Overheard by: Barry P.

Man to woman: Ohhhh, is she the one with maggots in her vagina?

–51st & 9th

Overheard by: Highstein

Chick on cell: Tell her to put that in her pipe and smoke it. Or even better, in her vagina. (sarcastically) Ooh, penetration!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Poogins

Very large black man: My penis’ jus’ as impo‐tant as her vagina.
Small meek white man: (nods in agreement or fear)

–A Train

Mom: Come here, put on your coat.
Little girl: I don’t wanna wear that stupid coat.
Mom: Hey, be nice. Be a good little girl. It’s cold as a bitch’s ass out here…you need your coat.

–Pierrepont Playground, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: iiams 

Astoria girl #1: Ohmigod! I’m going to dinner with my hot guy friend tonight! His picture is on Facebook, I’ll show you!
(shows friend photo)
Astoria girl #2: Oh, I know him, I used to have sex with his roommate!

–Astoria Park

Girl: God, it’s getting so cold! I should’ve brought my winter coat!
Guy: You don’t need a coat, you need a hot man to warm you up.
Girl: I need that, too…but I’d start with a coat.

–Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: Mallory McMahon

Earnest toddler in stroller, pointing at gorilla: Nuula blujunbabalooo.
Babysitter: Seriously?
Earnest toddler: Yeah!

–Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: Olivia

Sulky waitress at family restaurant, complaining about management: I could be home right now having a threesome, but Chris won’t let me leave.

–Astoria, Queens

Overheard by: Inkling

35‐year‐old camp Asian man on cell: Yo, girl! (pause) Hell no, I have no idea what shit went down last night. (pause) Oh‐em‐gee! All I know is I woke up with five guys.

–R Train

Overheard by: Abby and Holly

20‐something college boy: I mean, there’s no “I” in “threesome.”

–Union Square

Guy to his friends: Yeah, I haven’t decided what guy I would tag‐team a girl with yet.

–Hairy Monk, 25th & 3rd

African American guy to hipster girl: It was the worst orgy I’ve ever been to. Nothing but kids and clothes everywhere you looked.

–48th St & Broadway

Overheard by: RevLina, The Pain‐Proof Girl

Hipster chick with “valley girl” accent: Ya, like, ohmigod, ewwwwww… So I was reading Cosmo, and like, there was this story, about like, guys’ confessions, you know? And like, this random guy actually said, like, “Sometimes, I rub my dick on my cat’s fur, and it feels good.”

–Washington Square Park

10‐year‐old girl to another: I bet his idea of a hot girl is the crazy cat lady across the street.

–34th St, Astoria

Overheard by: Samantha

Woman to another: I have a friend in Belgium now – we both have cats!

–One World Financial Center

Overheard by: macgeekgrl

Brunette on phone: Do you want to play with your cat or do you want to play with me?

–60th St b/w Park & Madison

Overheard by: Adam B.

20‐something on cell: And when I woke up, I had no idea where I was. Then I realized I was spooning his cat.

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: J Cox

Little boy #1, on field trip: I have to pee!
Little boy #2: I have to pee too!
Teacher: We’ll be near a bathroom soon.
Little girl: Boys don’t need potties! Only girls need potties!

–Central Park

Mother, after listening to child talking nonstop: You are so bizarre.
Six‐year‐old boy, seriously: I eat bugs.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Good to Know