Dude #1: … Yo it was awesome man, she was so hot. It totally made the ski trip worth it.
Dude #2: Look at you, Governor Spitzer, gettin’ some outta town booty.
–Bryant Park
Dude #1: … Yo it was awesome man, she was so hot. It totally made the ski trip worth it.
Dude #2: Look at you, Governor Spitzer, gettin’ some outta town booty.
–Bryant Park
Guy with thick New York accent: Come on, let’s go.
[Dog lies down on back.]Guy: Don’t do that Mahatma Gandhi shit!
–Washington Square Dog Run
Overheard by: KidUgly
Dad to young daughter: If you want to hit daddy, you’ll have to take a number.
–Outside Court St. Bagels, Court & Bergen, Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Exhausted dad to loud, hyperactive, young son: Yes, everyone knows you’re here. Terminal six food court line.
–JFK
Overheard by: Jen
Mother, to seven-year-old son as she enters a liquor store: Jesus, what’s wrong with you? This is why nobody likes you -you’re annoying!
–Outside Liquor Store, W 57th St
Overheard by: PetRunner
Father quizzically looking at waddling toddler: How can you be anti-park? I mean, you’re a kid! You can run around!
–Fort Greene Park
Overheard by: Brooklyn Dodgy
Sassy inner-city mom to dawdling daughter: Get ovah here or I’m going to have to take out my imaginary belt.
–Tompkins Square Park
Mother, to five-year-old daughter picking up cookies: Is that what you eat at daddy’s house?
–The Food Emporium, 88th St
Overheard by: charlotte
Mother speaking sternly to her infant in the baby carriage: Capiche???
–53rd & 9th
Overheard by: AH Hell’s Kitchen
Girl to friend: That’s the difference between you and me: I have camp and you have sex.
–Bard High School Early College
Female commuter to male commuter after he accused her of pushing onto train: Just be grateful you had someone to rub against on a Friday night.
–6 train
Overheard by: Carol
Bearded dude: If you can’t tell me within five seconds the most number of fingers you’ve ever had in a woman at one time, I don’t want to talk to you about sex.
–Whiskey Park, Central Park South
Overheard by: Argopelter
Guy on cell, talking to someone’s voicemail: Hi, it’s Reacharound. I’m on my way to the library, but let me know if you want to get dinner later.
–Houston & Sullivan
Overheard by: lish
Chick: Actually, I can’t think of anything that’s not a metaphor for sexual awakening.
–Starbucks, 44th & 9th
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Umpire: Foul ball. It hit her in the box.
Teammate of batter: No it didn’t, it hit her in the stomach.
–Riverside Park
Overheard by: Ramrod
Man: Do you have ID?
Teenagers: Huh?
Man: ’cause you gotta be high to be in here!
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: the imbiber
Hipster #1: No water?!?!
Hipster #2: I can’t believe they’re denying us the most basic necessity … I hate everyone right now!
–McCarren Park Pool
Chick: Hey, how’s it going?
Dude: Hey, wassup?
Chick: Not much. It’s so weird to see you outside.
Dude: I know. I told you I lived near you.
Chick: Oh, yeah. I remember now.
Dude: What are you doing here?
Chick: Heard the coffee here is pretty famous.
Dude: Yeah, it is.
Chick: Anyways, I gotta go, but do you even know my name?
Dude: No…
Chick: What? I know yours. Tony, right?
Dude: No. I’m Dennis.
Chick: Oh, shit. Okay, Dennis. I’m Sonia. Anyways, gotta go. I will see you again, okay?
Dude: Alright. Bye.
Chick: Bye.
–Central Park
Guy #1: Dude, I’ve got nub.
Guy #2: I’ve got rocks.
Guy #1: Word.
Guy #2: Oh, let’s put them in the hookah and smoke all of them at the same time. I heard it’s a fun game.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Samantha
Man to scantily clad girl passerby: Yo, can I get your number? Can I text message you? Can I e-mail you? Somethin’? [As she walks away] Can I be your socks?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Nicole
70-year-old man to 20-something jogger: Good morning. Would you like to wrestle in the grass over there?
–Riverside Park
Drunken Don Juan: Hey… Miss… Miss… Ah… Is your husband… Is your husband married?
–Prospect Pl & Classon, Brooklyn
Overheard by: sweet tea
Drunk guy to girl: You have nice toes. I want to put them in my mouth.
–St. Mark’s & 2nd Ave
Creepy guy to hot blonde, after trying to pick her up: I’m not trying to hit on you. I just want to be your friend on Facebook.
–78th & Columbus
