Guy: So she got hit by a rickshaw.
Girl: How on earth do you get hit by a rickshaw?
Guy: I don’t know, she just did.
–LIRR train
Overheard by: vm
Guy: So she got hit by a rickshaw.
Girl: How on earth do you get hit by a rickshaw?
Guy: I don’t know, she just did.
–LIRR train
Overheard by: vm
Girl #1: So, now I’m going to need a new roommate, I think.
Girl #2: Wait… Let me get this straight — you walk in, she’s on the bed, nude, rolling around on a bunch of pearls?
Girl #1: Yeah. Our jewelry had just arrived from ShangBy, and I guess she got excited… Want a pearl necklace?
–58th & 5th
Guy #1: Man, in my family the only time we hug is at the airport.
Guy #2: My family never touches each other.
Guy #3: When my family gets together we don’t touch, make eye contact, or speak.
–Deluxe, 113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jenni
Guy #1: They put lead in ice cream so it makes you retarded.
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: Yeah, they put all sorts of chemicals in food; genocide, pesticide…
–A train
20-ish girl #1: My grandmother said chewing gum is illegal in Singapore.
20-ish girl #2: No way.
20-ish girl #1: Yeah, if they catch you they cane you! In public!
20-ish girl #2: That sucks.
20-ish girl #1: My grandmother says it’s an acquired taste.
–R train
Thug: I’m a super duper human being! I’m a super duper human being! I’m a super duper human being!
–Queens-bound F train
Overheard by: sunburned like a bitch
Teen Latino thug to friend: Yo, there be some mad hot wizards up in this bitch! Or should I say, ‘wizard-ettes.’
—Harry Potter screening, Loews, 34th St
Thug: … And he was there, with his cane and beard, lookin’ all Gandalf and shit.
–86th & Lex
Overheard by: Catherine
Teen thug: She is extra violent! She got UV rays!
–W 4th St platform
Overheard by: Emily B.
Thugette leaning against mail truck: Yeah, I’s the post bitch.
–Church St
Guy #1: Why are there so many homosexual Republicans? You hear about that eBay thing?
Guy #2: Ummm… No.
Guy #1: Yeah, that Mark Foley guy put his massage table up for bid, so I sent a message asking, ‘If I win, will I catch the gay?’
Guy #2: Well, did he respond?
Guy #1: He said yeah!
–Bathroom, Vig 27
Bimbette: Not a lot of people do meth anymore. It’s like one in ten million.
Guy: What?! It’s like the crack of the Midwest. Everyone does it.
Bimbette: No, it only seems like that because they’re all in one state.
Guy: Which one?
Bimbette: Oklahoma.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Is Kathy Ireland, the designer, one of them?
Dude: Thanks for showing me that in the computer program.
Chick: Sure! I like to give everyone a piece once in a while.
–Tunnel St, Chinatown
Suit #1: Yeah, so they’re selling enough dildos a month that they want to expand.
Suit #2: Really?
Suit #1: Yeah, but he doesn’t have the space.
–33rd & 5th
