Science

She Blinded Wednesday-One-Liners with Science

Teen thug: You know, if you put’em on hot they dry faster. On hot the clothes dry faster.

–Kingsland Ave & Jackson Ave., Willamsburg

Overheard by: confabulation nation

Hipster on cell: She thinks the entire world revolves around her. What is she, the sun?

–Union Square

Would-be physicist: Did you ever hear of magnetic repulsion? Because I swear to god that door has an eastern pole or something.

–Walgreens Drugstore, Union Square

Overheard by: kbot

Guy: So, you’ve dissected cats before?

–Lafayette & Centre St

Overheard by: Janelle

Loud chick: So I was looking on the Internet to learn more about our planet and biodiversity and shit, and there’s like five more extinctions supposed to happen! You know, like the dinosaurs and shit!

–Ray’s Pizza, E Houston

Overheard by: just visiting!

Soccer mom: He has had some really hard social studies stuff… Like why the seasons change and the how the earth moves around the sun.

–Warren Fields, Murray & West Side Highway

Overheard by: Soccer Nanny

Or “Wicked Brilliant,” to Be Exact

Chick #1: I don't get it. I mean, why would you go to Cambridge to study science? Why not go to Oxford?
Chick #2: Either way, it's England, so it's mad awesome.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Jedusor

Itching, Burning, Flaking Wednesday One-Liners

Girl to friend: I told him you had fucking mad STDs because he said he wanted to fuck you. (pause) You're welcome!

–Washington Square Park

Suit exiting cab: Yo, make sure you don't give him your number. He's got crabs.

–30th Ave & 30th St, Astoria

Overheard by: OhKellyO

Blonde 20-something on phone: Either the universe just proved there is no god, or he is a motherfucking cunt! (pauses, then in low tone) Because… I think I have herpes.

–Battery Park

Overheard by: close enough to hear the herpes part

Thug to thugette: I didn't have warts on my body till I met you.

–Metro North

Overheard by: baconista

Guy on cell, leaning casually against fire hydrant: Hey, so, I just got my test results back, and… uh… so I got herpes. So… maybe you should get yourself tested. (pause) No, no, no. No. No! Dammit, Jessica, listen, I… fuck. Sorry, Jennifer. No, I–no, I'm sorry, I've just been making this call a lot today. (pause) Hello?

–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Kytt

And a Master's in Ships

Guy: I could be an astronaut.
Girl: You have to be like really really smart to be an astronaut, you have to have like a doctoral in engineering and a doctoral in space…

–Javitz Center

Especially When It Predicts a Black Hole at the Big Bang

Good looking brunette: Yeah, then we talked about physics.
Intrigued girl pal: Oh, really? Why?
Good looking brunette: Not sure, but I remember it turned me on.
Intrigued girl pal: Oh…
(awkward silence)
Hot guy pal: (nods head)
Good looking brunette: What? I really like physics! Its the math… I really like math.

–Park Ave

Overheard by: angela

Then They Picked up Their Violins and Rode Off to Their Parents’ Dry Cleaners

Asian nerd #1: Neutrons!
Asian nerd #2: … Subatomic particles!
Asian nerd #3: Velocity times speed equals… Power! [all start cheering and high-fiving one another.]

–Park Ave & 23rd St

Overheard by: …not very science-y

Or It's That LSD Tab We Just Split

Southern tourist boy: Mommy! Look at the tops of the tall buildings… It looks like the clouds are standing still and the buildings are moving!
Mom: That's because the earth is turning so quickly, sweetie.

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Bill O.

If the U.S. Census Were Administered This Way, We Might Actually Complete It

Crazy man on subway: Now that its almost the weekend, it is once again time for me to share my knowledge. Now, how many people here have seen the Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones feature film Men in Black?
75-year-old British man: Oh, this will be wonderful. Very scientific.

–E Train

You're Gonna Get an Electron Complex

Girl #1: I think I want to take advanced physics.
Girl #2: What? That's math and science.
Girl #1: I know.
Girl #2: Together.
Girl #3: That's gay.

–Queensborough Community College

Watching Organic and Inorganic Chemists Dance-Fight Like the Sharks and the Jets

Professor, rolling up a blackboard to reveal a second blackboard that is covered in general chemistry: Oh god! Oh god…get it off! Ew!
(class laughs)
Professor: No, not the ideal gas law! We don't need that, we're organic chemists! There is no such thing as gas! No such thing as gas!
Student #1: Organic chemists are very sensitive.
Student #2: This is kind of tragic.

–Organic Chem Class, Barnard

Overheard by: Vicksburg

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