British chick: Why did the sun have to set?
British guy: It has something to do with the movement of the earth.
British chick: Buy whyyyyyyyyy? It's colllldddd.
–Columbus Circle
British chick: Why did the sun have to set?
British guy: It has something to do with the movement of the earth.
British chick: Buy whyyyyyyyyy? It's colllldddd.
–Columbus Circle
Girl talking to another girl: I like rectal physiology.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: no need to take her to a movie
Fireman, mocking drunk voice and crazy walking: Where are my kneecaps? Has anyone seen my kneecaps? Where the hell did my kneecaps go?
–Times Square
Overheard by: jacki
Man on street talking seriously to friend: And then the lady’s head fell into the toilet bowl.
–White St & W. Broadway
Overheard by: I would have loved to hear the ending of this story..
Guy: It would be better if we could see our own bodies cut up, all laid out on front of us like this!
–Entering the Bodies Exhibition, South Street Seaport
Girl in train: It’s so cold that my ears are freezing their asses off!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Not High, Kumar
Woman at next table: Well, I only get cold sores on my nose.
–The Mermaid Inn, 2nd Ave & 5th
Girl #1: Did you know babies have natural reflexes? Like, if you stick your finger in their hand, they'll grab it, and if you try to pull it away, they'll hold on to it for like a minute.
Girl #2: Did you know if you punch a baby in the face, it'll cry?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: mkb
Girl #1: When people make stuff out of metal, they just melt it, right?
Girl #2: I think so.
Girl #1: Still, metal's way better than plastic.
Girl #2: Totally.
–Astoria Blvd
Overheard by: sara n.
Girl #1: I bet you don't even know who invented the light bulb.
Girl #2: I do, too! It was Alexander Graham Bell.
Girl #1, laughing hysterically: No, it wasn't! It was Albert Einstein.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: alissarules
Guy: It’s the sort of class where the value of Greek civilization is assessed by expressing its estimated GDP as a fractal.
–Columbia University bookstore
Overheard by: Tim Wolfe
Asian stereotype #1: Yeah, if I'm not valedictorian, I'll definitely be in the top ten.
Asian stereotype #2: Wait, but aren't there like thirteen people in the top ten?
–1 Train
Overheard by: non-stereotype Asian
Teacher: I mean, with all the salt I eat, my blood pressure should be equal to Avogadro’s number over Planck’s constant! But it’s not…
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Liz
Middle-school Latina to posse of Asian males: Asian girls aren’t smaller — they have six muscles in their vagina, and white girls have four, and black girls have two. That’s because black guys have the biggest penises, so the women have fewer muscles. And Asian men have the smallest, so the women have six muscles so it feels tighter… It’s true. I learned it in biology.
–Brooklyn-bound N train
Overheard by: Shannon
Conductor: This is the train to Huntington. This is the train going to Huntington! If you didn’t hear your stop before, this is not the train you’re supposed to get on! Come on, people — this is not quantum physics, people! If your stop is not called, this is not your train!
–LIRR, Huntington Branch, Jamaica stop
Overheard by: Jenn
Skanky mom: Just not too much science stuff, okay?
–In line, Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Dork
Nerdy hipster guy: So that simplifies to 400-350, which is…?
Clearly hungover girl: Unnngggggg, a hundred?
Very effeminate black friend: Damn, girl, whatever happened to you? Never go full retard!
–Starbucks, Midtown
Math professor: This weekend I saw an exhibit at the Staten Island Zoo about dinosaurs.
Blonde bimbette: You mean with real dinosaurs?
–College of Staten Island
