Little boy, collapsing onto mother's lap: I am so hungover.
Mother: What?! No you're not! (to anyone within earshot) No, he's not.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Darcie
Little boy, collapsing onto mother's lap: I am so hungover.
Mother: What?! No you're not! (to anyone within earshot) No, he's not.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Darcie
Mother: We're getting off now if you can't behave.
Boy (screaming uncontrollably at other boy): I want Jessie! I want Jessie! I want Jessie! Jesssssssssie!
–M79 Bus
Overheard by: whothehellisjessie
Disgusted mother to little girl who picked up a Swedish fish she dropped on the bus floor: Don't eat that.
Little girl, dusting it off: It's okay, I'll kiss it up to god.
Mother: Don't you dare put that in your mouth. You have no idea what was on the floor.
Little girl, putting it in her mouth and chewing it: It's okay! I kissed it up to god! (swallows it) What are you going to do about it?
Mother, angrily: I'm not going to do anything. You're just going to die.
–Q18 Bus
Father to child standing in shopping cart: Suzie, sit down in the cart, standing isn't safe and it breaks the rules.
Suzie: No!
Father, heading towards checkout and spotting police officer fiddling with handcuffs: You see that policeman? If you don't sit down he's going to take you to jail. Oh look, he's taking out his handcuffs and he's going to arrest you now. (Suzie sits immediately)
–Kmart, Astor Place
Dad to son who is crying after being pushed by another kid: Johnny*, why are you crying? He didn't do it on purpose. He's your friend.
Johnny: No he's not! No one's my friend! I don't have friends!
–Brooklyn Heights Promenade
Overheard by: Margarita
Upbeat mom to seven and nine-year-old daughters: And then we'll go to the family garden and then we'll go to the children's garden!
Elder daughter (sighing): And then can we go shopping?
–Botanical Garden
Headline by: sam
Runners-Up:
· “Because We’re Almost Out Of Entitlement and Materialism” – Dana Lishs
· “Children Are the REAL Inconvenient Truth…” – Bojo
· “Meet America’s Greatest Patriot” – KateNonymous
· “Where We Can Sow Money and Reap Prada” – 1310 (formerly SNA)
· “Why the Hilton Sisters Like Daddy More” – Brittlee
Mom to six-year old son on cell: Come on, Christopher, let's go.
Six-year old son: What! I'm on the phone!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Never Having Children
Toddler at bus stop, throwing a fit: No! I don't want to get on the bus!
Bus driver: Come on! The bus is a fun place!
Nearby passenger: Yeah, I love the bus! Why don't you join us?
Boy's mother: Get your ass on the fucking bus.
–Q44
Mom to little boy, walking past a toy store: Look, it's a Madeline Doll!
Boy: But I don't like Madeline, she's French! Ewwww!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: smart kid
Four-year old boy #1: Hey, try to catch me!
Four-year old boy #2: Shut the fuck up, motherfucker!
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Natalie
Headline by: poop
Runners-Up:
· “And Thus the Tupac/Biggie Battle Humbly Began” – RBNY
· “I Guess This Is What Bill Cosby Meant…” – cmtWHATUP
· “Richard Pryor Reincarnated” – Casual Observer
· “That Seseme Street/South Park Merger Was Bound to Have Consequences” – Cartman wins again
· “The Argument Against Grand Theft Auto As a Stocking Stuffer” – space coyote
· “The Rules Of Tag Have Changed Over Time.” – Oh, this younger generation…
