Little boy, pointing at Obama poster: Look, mommy it's Will Smith!
Mother: No, honey, that's not Will Smith. That's…uhmmmm… (to husband) What the fuck was his name again?
–Columbia University
Little boy, pointing at Obama poster: Look, mommy it's Will Smith!
Mother: No, honey, that's not Will Smith. That's…uhmmmm… (to husband) What the fuck was his name again?
–Columbia University
Screaming child: I want ice cream and I want it now! Now! Now! Mom, get me ice cream!
Mother, calmly: Darling. While I love you deeply, I would really like to shove your behavior in the middle of the street to be run over by a bus. Understand?
–Central Park
Overheard by: queenofscots
Upper East Side mom: Jackie, you have so many friends! I'm so happy for you!
Six-year-old girl: Mommy, those aren't my friends. Those are my entourage.
–92nd & Madison
Overheard by: LLOYD!!!
Baby: Waaaaahhhhh!
Woman: That's it. I'm officially getting my tubes tied.
–L Train
Excited little Asian girl, about obviously African diorama: Are those Indians?
Bored mom, paying no attention: Yeah.
Excited little Asian girl, to herself, in quiet, satisfied voice: They're Indians.
–American Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Conductor: Next stop, 81st Street, Museum of Natural History.
Mom to young son: Okay, sweetie, this is our stop for the museum.
Six-year-old boy: But mom, I wanna go to Central Park instead!
Hobo: Listen to your mother, boy! Go the museum. Git yerself some edjumicate… Edjcation…go learn something!
Six-year-old boy: Mommy, what did he say?
Mom: He said, “don't be fucking stupid.” Let's go.
–C Train
Overheard by: Davis Baker
Crazy guy (inexplicably overjoyed): Heyyyyy! White people!
–1 Train
Gay black man on cell: She is such a delicate white cunt, she can't raise her own child. She needs a Jamaican man to do it.
–45th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Kristy Magyar
Angry black guy: I swear to god I'm bout to start slappin' white people.
–Union Station
Overheard by: scared white guy
White English guy to Anglo-Filipino chick: I don't think we'll be welcome there because we're white.
–Nostrand & St. Mark's, Brooklyn
Black guy: Man, I love white people, and I never shot anybody!
–Times Square
Panicked child: Mommy, why are there so many white people here?
–Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting
Husband (about kids): I can't take them any more.
Wife: We were just as bad.
Husband: I was never bad. I was always good.
Wife: I was bad. I was a horror.
Husband: Then you deserve them!
–Central Park, Near Delacorte Theater
Overheard by: Lisa B.
Stroller mom admonishing toddler: Connor! Connor, stop that now. Connor, I'm going to count to three…in French. Un, deux, trois.
–Broadway & 93rd St
Father, teaching five-year-old son to urinate in the street: Okay, son, now you've gotta shake it.
–Fordham Road
Mom to seven-year-old daughter, on Yom Kippur: Only you could complicate a bagel purchase.
–Absolute Bagels, 108th & Broadway
Yuppie mommy to naughty child: Stop it! Stop acting up! Look, this is the reason people don't have kids.
–Starbucks
Woman to young sons: You see that boy in that other train over there? I'm gonna give him your present if you don't be quiet.
–6 Train
Father to three rowdy children: You guys are gonna need to calm down, this is gonna be a two hour ride and there is no bar car on this train. Which is unfair to daddies with 3 kids.
–Grand Central
Regular mom: What's your son's name?
Wealthy Tribeca mom: E-berry.
Regular mom: Excuse me?
Wealthy Tribeca mom: E-berry. We wanted our son to be unique.
Regular mom, grabbing son and leaving: Come on, Thomas.
–Washington Market Park
Overheard by: laughing nanny
