A lady and her family are standing up in the train. It’s very crowded and her little boy isn’t holding onto anything. He keeps falling against her with his face right in her crotch as the train swerves. She says: That’s right, I’m gonna push you back up in there. Four years of nothing but trouble!
–1 train
Two-year-old boy, pointing at dinnerware: Boobies?
Mother, pushing him inside shopping cart: No.
Two-year-old boy, pointing at pots: Boobies?
Mother, pushing him inside shopping cart: No.
Two-year-old boy, pointing at woman: Boobies?
Mother, pushing him inside shopping cart: Yes, but that's rude.
–Bed Bath & Beyond
Mom: …and you have to hold my hand before we go out into the street.
Little girl: Best fucking advice ever.
–106th & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Small child in large line of kids to woman carrying first-aid kit: Hey, Miss Cynthia, I can’t wait to disappear!
–Lawton St, & Bushwick Ave, Brooklyn
Boy pointing at guy dressed as Statue of Liberty: We waited this whole time just to see that?!
–Line for Statue of Liberty, Battery Park
Little girl: Daddy! I’m hard!
–Blockbuster
Overheard by: Abram
Small boy: Mommy, you sit over there next to Grandma, and I’ll sit over here next to myself.
–Brooklyn-bound F train
Overheard by: post-modern self-identity is a funny thing
Sobbing little boy in stroller to mother: Why can’t you just settle me dowwwn?!
–48th St & Madison
Overheard by: Micaela
Mother to screaming child: Please stop crying and put your coat on. I am not hurting you or torturing you, so please stop crying.
–4th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: olivejuice
Father to kid who just started crying: Hey, stop! I thought I told you to wait until we got home!
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lucian
Guy to girl, on Valentine's Day: You look fat when you cry.
–Cobble Hill
Overheard by: MJB
Hispanic man on phone to girlfriend: Ma, why you cryin?! You should be breaking up with me because I hit you!
–Staten Island Ferry
Guy to girlfriend: I'm sorry I pulled your hair while you were crying.
–Bowery & 2nd
Mother, about her hyperactive child: Looooong day. Long day, and too much ice cream.
Hyperactive child: No.
–King Tut Exhibit, Times Square
Overheard by: Sarah
Little boy: When will it be Hanukkah?
Dad: Not for a while.
Little boy: But I'm begging you for Hanukkah.
Dad: You got some time until it's Hanukkah, buddy.
Little boy: Now you'll never get me a present!
Dad: (begins to leave with the little boy)
Little boy: I am not moving until it's Hanukkah!
–Bagel Shop, The Village
Overheard by: wilpon
Polite, cute seven-year-old black boy to mother: Mommy, how was your day?
Hot mom: Nice, I had a very nice day. Thank you for asking. How was your day?
Little boy: Pimpin! Can I play Wii when we get home, please?
–B Train
Litte boy: Dad, what’s something I can learn?
Dad: Do you know how to use a chainsaw? I can see if I can get the chainsaw working.
–B train
Overheard by: The Bling
Guy #1: How was that class for you? Was it like a war?
Guy #2: For me? It was more like walking through a preschool with a chainsaw.
–181st & Broadway
Four-year-old: I don't like you.
Angry mother: Well, that's fine, I don't like you very much either.
Four-year-old: That's mean.
Angry mother: That's life.
–Time Square
Overheard by: pluml
