Old lady: Move! Move, move, move! Get out of my way!
Suit: Say, ‘Excuse me’! God, it’s called manners!
Old lady: I did say excuse me! Now move!
12-year-old thug: Fight! Oooh, fight! They gon’ fight!
–1 train
Old lady: Move! Move, move, move! Get out of my way!
Suit: Say, ‘Excuse me’! God, it’s called manners!
Old lady: I did say excuse me! Now move!
12-year-old thug: Fight! Oooh, fight! They gon’ fight!
–1 train
Dude: If I wasn’t getting married in a month, this would be the part where I introduce myself and ask you out on a date.
Chick: Oh.
Dude: I just thought you might like that.
–Q train
Overheard by: Morgan
Woman: I really enjoyed your book.
Man: I loved your poetry. I wish I understood it.
–Barnard College
Overheard by: Meredith
Girl: We vegetarians love the environment. Carnivores are sick freaks.
Male passerby: How can vegetarians love the environment? You keep eating all the plants!
–93rd & Lex
Overheard by: Carnivore
Lady: Do I look fat in this dress?
Bystander: Yeah, you do. What? We were all thinking it!
–71 Continental Ave station
Overheard by: Kirby J
Black man: So, where you from?
Hot chick: Portugal.
Black man: Shiiit! I’ve never heard that one before.
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: Maria
Enormous black woman clutching frantic feral cat: Who’ll gimme a dollar fo’ this kitten? I know one of ya’lls got a dollar fo’ this kitten. You?! You?!
Confused passerby: Didn’t you get that from the vacant lot behind you?
Enormous black woman clutching frantic feral cat: Shut up, fool! Okay… Fitty cent, then!
–West 153rd St
Overheard by: goofopet
Male passenger: Man, come on, move the bus! There’s a fucking war in Iraq, and I have to take two more buses! There’s a war in Iraq, and I have to take two more buses!
Female passenger: What, to get there?
–Q76 bus
Overheard by: Samn
Girl: Excuse me… you may not remember me, but I used to date you.
Guy: Uh, I don’t think so.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Marianne
Guy #1: You know that Anton Webern’s Quartet for the End of Time was performed in a concentration camp? Crazy.
Guy #2: Yeah. He died real weird. I forget how. I think the Nazis shot him.
Total stranger: Actually he was shot by Allied soldiers. He was breaking curfew smoking a cigarette, and they mistook him for his brother-in-law, who was an alleged Nazi spy.
Guy #1: Oh, I see. Thanks.
Total stranger: Any other questions? I just ride this train all day waiting to answer questions on twentieth-century music composition. The next car has an expert on Chekhov, and the conductor studies philosophy.
Guy #1: So anyway, Slavic girls are pretty hot.
Guy #2: Yeah, for real.
–7 train
