Man: I bet you’re hot to trot to get back to school
Girl: No, not really. My dad will be driving me.
–Rolling Hills Park, Staten Island
Man: I bet you’re hot to trot to get back to school
Girl: No, not really. My dad will be driving me.
–Rolling Hills Park, Staten Island
Girl #1 after crossing street during “Don’t Walk” sign: Oooh, I’m like a New York City resident!
Girl #2: Why? Because you walked into oncoming traffic?
Girl #1: That’s what they do!
–8th & Broadway
Woman #1: I was supposed to go to Detroit tonight.
Woman #2: How far is that?
Woman #3: Eight hours, right? ‘Cause it’s, like, eight hours to Miami.
Woman #1: But Detroit’s in Chicago, not Florida.
Woman #3: Oh, yeah.
–Bowery
Bimbette #1: Do you have sucking candy?
Bimbette #2: No, but I have gum.
Bimbette #1: I don’t want gum — I don’t want to chew and use my brain.
–LIRR
Overheard by: pbq
Girl cooing at boyfriend: You know, I just wanted a mature guy — they’re so rare! And you’re very mature in your outlook.
Boyfriend: I am mature. I’m glad you see th– Oh, look — Playboy Enterprises!
–5th Ave
Man to waiter making tea: Hey, you know how many Mexicans it takes to make iced tea? None! Because you’re not Mexican! Ha!
Waiter: Why would you say that? I am Mexican.
–Mike’s Café, Brooklyn
Queer black man #1: I am stupid, dumb, and crazy.
Queer black man #2: Mmm-hm.
Queer black man #1: But I am not slow. I never was.
Queer black man #2: You never were.
Queer black man #1: I never was.
Queer black man #2: It’s ‘were. I never were.’ I was an English major.
Queer black man #1: It’s, ‘I never was.’ I went to school. You’re speaking some sort of crazy… some crazy Ebonics language.
Queer black man #2: Bitch, you stupid, dumb, and crazy.
Queer black man #1: Mmm-hm, that’s right.
–M10 bus, 110th & CPW
Overheard by: A former English minor, weeping.
Girl #1: It’s good I don’t go to a school with fraternities. I’d, like–
Girl #2: –Get drunk and raped?
Girl #1: Exactly!
–Sarah Lawrence College
Overheard by: trying to eat dinner in peace
Bimbette, about little boy in wheelchair: Aw, look at him! He’s got a little hand puppet!
Friend: Actually, that’s a cast.
–Lafayette & East Houston
Overheard by: Kim & Clerr
Girl: You know, I love sushi, but it’s just too much raw fish. And you know how, like, people call pussy raw fish? I guess I’m eating pussy, then? Ha! Would that make me a lesbian?
Friend: You better die.
Girl: Okay, I’ll stop smoking crack now.
–7th & 2nd
Overheard by: Keesha Brown
