Yankee fan: Hey, go back to Boston buddy!
Red Sox fan: You know you love Boston.
Yankee fan: Well, that doesn’t make any fucking sense, now does it?
–Yankee Stadium
Yankee fan: Hey, go back to Boston buddy!
Red Sox fan: You know you love Boston.
Yankee fan: Well, that doesn’t make any fucking sense, now does it?
–Yankee Stadium
JHS girl #1: Bitch, I will beat your ass!
JHS girl #2: I’ll beat your mother’s ass!
JHS boy: Y’all two are making my dick hurt.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Gus Colletti
Italian guy: Oh, fuck. My metrocard ran out. Think I can get on anyway?
Black bus driver: Yeah! But I’m sendin’ Tony and Joey to come collect later!
Italian guy: Word, homey.
–M14 bus
Man: So these teenagers threatened to kill you?
Woman: Yeah…
Man: Why didn’t you call the police?
Woman: I was on the subway, how am I suppose to call the police?
Man: I can’t believe you told me this. Now what am I suppose to do with this piece of information?
–M72 bus
Non-bitch: There’s a man over there in a green jacket who called me a bitch and threatened to kill me because I wouldn’t give him the time.
–59th & Lexington
Guy: Yeah, well, I am going to give her a Valentine’s foot in the ass!
–110th bet. Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Elena Santogade
Chick #1, signing to other friend: Ha!
Chick #2: What does that mean?!
Chick #1: That means ‘I’m going to shit in your vagina.’
–Hot ‘n’ Crusty Pizza
Man on cell: I will fuck you up. I will fuck you up, man. Do you even know I will fuck you up? Don't fuck with me, man, I will fuck you beyond fucked up. You are so fucked up when I see you next. Fuckin' bitch, fuck up. I will fuck you for fucking me, you fucking bastard. Fuck this shit, you fucking cock bitch.
–N Train
Grumpy tourist father: I’m gonna stick that Shirley Temple where the sun don’t shine!
Tourist son: But I have light in my butt!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: supersillious
Crazy lady at crosswalk: I am a professional jaywalker! If you jaywalk, I will give you a ticket! If you don't, I will not!
Young black woman: Yo! Being who I am, I will bop you on the head.
–E 124th St & Lexington
Overheard by: waitingforthefight
Drunk guy, in fake Scottish accent: Anyone who doesn’t shut up will feel my cock against their stomach.
Drunk NYU girl #1: What if that’s what we want?!
Drunk NYU girl #2: Is he really Scottish?
–Crocodile Lounge, 14th & 2nd
Overheard by: eri
