Library staff: Ladies and gentlemen, Mugar Library is closing in five minutes. However, the first and second floor will be open for all-night studying purposes. If you are on the third, fourth, fifth or sixth floors you must relocate or leave immediately. We are releasing the killer bees. I hope you’ve been vaccinated.

Boston University Library

Overheard by: Burkey

Teenage girl to friend, giggling: So then she said she was going to put diarrhea on my face!


Preschool boy: Can I play with you?
Preschool girl: Come near me and I'll stab you.

New South Wales

Overheard by: courtney

Ghetto chick: It’s 10 minutes to midnight — I’m ’bout to turn into a bitch.

Magic Stick
Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: Swells

Boy, screaming into pregnant mother's belly: We're going to give you up for adoption!

Tanger Outlet
Riverhead, New York

Overheard by: bemused

Little girl to friend: You little… Butter, I'm going to whip you up until you smell like rotten juice!

Park Playground
Tacoma, Washington

Overweight mom, walking away from grave, to young sons: If you don't start behaving, you are going to be buried here.

Arlington National Cemetery
Arlington, Virginia

Girl #1: Why does Denzel Washington with a gun freak me out?
Girl #2: Because he’s black.

Movie Theater

Professor: I could go to Mark*, for example, and say, “hey, you have to do this or I'm going to shoot you.” (to Mark*) Uh, sorry.
Mark*: Well, at least you're polite about it.

Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: S.m. Torres

Girl on phone: I’ll go on MySpace and look until I die for a picture of you in a ugly green dress!

Orlando Ale House
Orlando, Florida