Boy #1: I'm gonna take out my iPhone and post these pictures on YouTube.
Boy #2: You can't post photos on YouTube.
Boy #1: Fine, I'll post them on Facebook.
Boy #2: You don't have a Facebook.
Boy #1: I'll e-mail them to your mom. She posts everything on Facebook.

Central Islip, New York

Overheard by: Val

India-Indian conductor: We will need to stand by in just a few minutes for some maintenance work. We’re having some problems with the brakes, and they will need to be checked… Actually, they’re really not working… At all. [Everyone exchanges looks when doors instantly close and train pulls out of station, rounding the next corner at high speed.]

Chicago El, Brown Line
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Comforting words

Girl: Well, the sad thing is I'm gonna have to treat you like Morgan when she doesn't want to take her ear infection pills.

Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts

Pleasant English lady in line at checkout: Whoever invented all these human rights should be shot!

Scott Air Force Base
St. Clair County, Illinois

Overheard by: Ninjamedic

Six-year-old boy: Mom! I want a cookie.
Mom: If you don't start behaving you're going to turn into a deep-fried boy on a stick at the state fair.

Overheard by: Ian

Dude: Just because I watched you out a window for an hour doesn’t mean I’m creepy.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Teacher to chatty class: Everyone, quiet, we have to go over this!
(class continues chatting)
Guy in the back: I will kill you all.
(class falls silent)

High School
Chesapeake, Virginia

Woman at table dining with friend: I mean, I love infectious diseases, don’t get me wrong, but that’s not my life.

Red Restaurant
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: kyndgrrl

Woman: I found the nipple! Crisis averted.

N. Bishop Avenue
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Faith

Pilot: There is no smoking on this aircraft. The penalty for smoking is two thousand dollars. If you had that kind of money, you’d probably be flying United.

Southwest Airlines flight

Overheard by: broke